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nicólas soul - "survival freestyle" lyrics

[verse]
i been making music since 2012
i feel like ever since i started rapping
man i lost myself
too focused on the music
and really achieving goals
at nights i would contemplate
should i sell my soul? (no)
i been losing sight of the real me
and ever since i dropped the album
people say they feel me
but are they really listening?
n+ggas got surface level hearing
cause i’m crying out for help
while they dancing to my lyrics
sh+t is painful
i can’t even find solace in family
cause my parents don’t know me
yet i’m trynna make em happy
and my bro saying
man you’re 21, you gotta grow
cause this rapping that you do
is immature you gotta know
man i’m trying
really going crazy in my adolescence
if you saw the pain in my eyes
then you’d make an effort
but whatever
i’m really on my own sh+t
conflicted cause i’m winning
but i’m losing all my closest
homies that i came up with
that’s how life goes
cleansing all my sins
while i’m clutching to the bible
cleansing all my sins
while i’m clutching to survival
n+gga
i’m an idol

- nicolas soul lyrics

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