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nineteen ninety four - cathartic lyrics

i stole from my gran when i was 10 years old
im 22 now no lie it still burns me inside
even hurts me to write
coz now im grown i can pay it twice
but ur gone and my sorry will never make it right
remember sundays gran they ain’t been da same since
even mums changed she ain’t been da same since
nah she ain’t been da same since
and we just fight all over the same sh-t
but most of ur grandkids got kids now
i gotta beard im growing its kinda big now
imagine little chris got hair on his lip now
imagine little dylan can drive a whip now
i remember going with u to hospital appointments
seeing you inject your leg everyday with insulin
callin david beckham david peckham
ur funny wigs i used to laugh at
now it hurts that i can’t hear u laugh back
it k!lls when da head of ur home heads home
i can’t even bear to stand by ur head stone
coz you gave me and my mum a roof over our heads
food on our plates
and love we could feel
and gran i did u so wrong
grand i did u so wrong
a real n-gg- can see when he ain’t real
and randy my cuz
i hate to think about you bro
coz i feel it in my soul feel it in my bones
i see ur dad smile but da eyes never lie
so uncle if ur listening i swear i feel it aswell
i’ve been dealin with depression
they say ur mind is weapon
no wonder these thoughts try k!ll me
if u dnt get feel that then u will never feel me
see i lost contact with people i was close to
i think h-ll’s just a phase that we go through
they say they love you but will they die for you coz i’ll rip out my heart just to show u
even doe my own blud snake me own n-gg-s hate me
still i show them love and all i get is a punch in da face a knife in my back
f-ck money my n-gg- no ain’t fighting for scr-ps
i ain’t fighting for blocks i ain’t fighting for a postcode
n-gg-s dying over endz that they dnt own its a joke bro
but nothings funny dark clouds i dnt even know when its sunny
yeah u see i live what i really rap
f-ck u if u n-gg-s never hit me back
when i was homeless down to my last penny
stressing desperate to hit a fast belly
see there’s no1 i can trust these days so every move i keep it onna hush these days
brudda see im in and out of touch these days and i try but im runnin low on luck these days
so i speak to god its kinda hard but i speak to god
coz he gave me a sk!ll to amaze but i believe im lost and i can’t find my way out

my older cousin has started bleaching her skin
she dnt see the beauty that we see whats within
pretty pretty girl full of melanin
i swear ugly is something that u have never been
so i dnt understand but if u wanna talk then im here
thats 24/7 365 a year
so tell me to bring some tissues if i should expect some tears

- nineteen ninety four lyrics

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