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ninja sex party - 6969 (2024 remaster) lyrics

part i: prologue

[intro: danny s+xbang, arin hanson]
somewhere deep in the slow, eternal dance of the heavens drifts a planet called simply “earth”
and among the otherwise unremarkable population of this planet are two incredible heroes, destined to save the future from itself
hey ninja brian, i made a time machine sp+ceship. you wanna go on it?
yeah, okay, cool

part ii: a rainbow of time

[verse 1: danny s+xbang]
soaring through the galaxy, the stars, and sky align
the speed of light’s for p+ssies; we’rе going at the speed of brian
flying towards the s+xual pеak of history and time
computer, set a s+xy course for the s+xiest year (uh!)

[bridge: danny s+xbang]
6969
(69) i’ve got my sp+ce suit
(69) and ninety pounds of sp+ce lube

[verse 2: danny s+xbang]
crossing through into a f+ckin’ wormhole beyond the milky way
that sh+t’s far
to a time on earth so far into the future, where everyone gets laid
twice as hard
we’re n0ble knights of honor on a fierce and sultry b+tt crusade
here we are!
open the bay doors and let’s live the dream
give the world a double team
i bet it’s a billion+person orgy in an ocean of whipped cream
[interlude: danny s+xbang]
wait, this place isn’t s+xy at all!
and this robot sign says “human touch has been outlawed”

[verse 3: danny s+xbang]
i can’t believe my eyes, but it’s a world without s+x
everyone here just wears full length pants and loose fitting turtlenecks
men and women wave to each other from a respectable distance
without the thrill of boning, what is life?
we must speak to the council of d+ck elders tonight

part iii: to sleep, perchance to cream

[verse 4: danny s+xbang, michael starr]
excuse me, d+ck elders?
what do you want?
i know it’s most unusual to come before you so
but the planet earth sucks b+lls now that no one’s allowed to bone
we’ve come from the past to introduce you to ass
wait! you’re ninja s+x party! you will ruin our plans!
guards! sound the alarms!
if people have s+x, they’ll break our thousand+year spell
there will be a revolution and they’ll think for themselves
we control this planet of unsatisfied wood
why does being evil always feel so d+mn good?
[verse 5: danny s+xbang, michael starr]
f+ck that bullsh+t, we’ll make it right
get ready for a s+xy fight
my d+ck’s the spark of hope and a revolution shall ignite (tonight)
we’re taking flight, we have to find a girl
shoot the f+cking lasers!
shoot the f+cking lasers at ’em!
show her what it means to love and fix this broken world
all the f+ckin’ lasers!
all the f+ckin’ lasers at ’em!
a new s+x king will rule; let the b+n+r banners be unfurled

[interlude: danny s+xbang]
ninja brian, look at that girl with the sad eyes and the beautiful blonde hair. i’m immediately in love!

[bridge: danny s+xbang]
(69) she spent her life all alone
(69) wanna take her to the bone zone
(69) make her feel the pleasure
(69) of my naughty treasures

part iv: grand reckoning at the castle of infinity

[verse 6: danny s+xbang]
i can’t believe my eyes, but you’re the girl of my dreams
let’s both tear all of our clothes off like two pants+hating wolverines
the love we make will save the earth from this oppressive d+ck regime
[bridge: danny s+xbang]
we’re having s+x now
to change the world (woo!)
you brought three friends now
oh sh+t, they’re girls!

[verse 7: danny s+xbang]
i think it’s obvious that people liked our s+xy show
multi+billion person orgy has broken out all across the globe
the human race, much like my junk, will now be free to grow
(let’s go!)

[bridge: danny s+xbang, michael starr]
but what about the elders?
we tore their world to shreds
maybe they’ll be cool with it
oh hey, d+ck elders! how’s it goin’?
you two are f+cking dead!

[verse 8: danny s+xbang, michael starr]
so much for that, it’s time to put on pants
and run away from their death army which is starting to advance
shoot the f+ckin’ lasers!
way more f+ckin’ lasers at ’em!
we can’t die, we’re way too young
and there are so many girls to bone
shoot the f+ckin’ lasers!
way more f+ckin’ lasers at ’em!
but now we’re cornered with our backs against the wall!

[verse 9: danny s+xbang, michael starr]
it’s over, danny s+xbang! your time has come!
but first, we’re gonna take care of your ninja friend, here!
(+slash+) ah!
godd+mn, brian, you k!lled them all
now the empire will fall
i have to say, in retrospect, that was easier than i thought!
oh, yeah!

part v: peace, at last, peace

[verse 10: danny s+xbang]
our work here’s done, the future is secure
but my girl and i have one last farewell slam, just to be sure
for underneath those rockin’ b00bs lies a heart that is so pure

[interlude: danny s+xbang]
take care of this world for me, my darling, i will always love you
what is your name, by the way? kristen? ah, a beautiful name
until that glorious day, when we meet again, katie, farewell!

[verse 11: danny s+xbang]
now let us fly into the night sky
and we’ll raise a glass to ass in a final goodbye
to 6969
6969
(69) let us be gone
(69) our quest is life+long
(69) it’s a s+xy destiny, so let’s rock the f+ck on

part vi: yay

[outro: danny s+xbang]
6969
f+ck yeah
f+ck yeah
+chimes fade out+

- ninja sex party lyrics

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