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ninja sex party - 6969 lyrics

part i: prologue

[narrator] somewhere deep in the slow, eternal dance of the heavens drifts a planet called simply “earth”
and among the otherwise unremarkable population of this planet are two incredible heroes, destined to save the future from itself

[danny s-xbang] hey ninja brian, i made a time machine sp-ceship. you… wanna go on it?
[ninja brian] …
[dan] yeah, okay cool

part ii: a rainbow of time

soaring through the galaxy, the stars and sky align
the speed of light’s for p-ssies; we’re going at the speed of brian
flying towards the s-xual peak of history and time
computer, set a s-xy course for the s-xiest year
(uhn!)

sixty-nine
sixty-nine
(sixty-nine) i’ve got my sp-ce suit
(sixty-nine) and ninety pounds of sp-ce lube

crossing through into a f-ckin’ worm hole beyond the milky way
that sh-t’s far
to a time on earth so far into the future where everyone gets laid
twice as hard
we’re n0ble knights of honor on a fierce and sultry b-tt crusade
here we are!

open the bay doors and let’s live the dream
give the world a double team
i bet it’s a billion person orgy in an ocean of whipped cream

wait, this place isn’t s-xy at all!
and this robot sign says human touch has been outlawed

i can’t believe my eyes, but it’s a world without s-x
everyone here just wears full length pants and loose fitting turtlenecks
men and women wave to each other from a respectable distance
without the thrill of boning, what is life?
we must speak to the council of d-ck elders tonight

part iii: to sleep, perchance to cream

[dan] excuse me, d-ck elders?
[d-ck elder michael starr] what do you want?
[dan] i know it’s most unusual to come before you so
but the planet earth sucks b-lls now that no one’s allowed to bone
we’ve come from the past to introduce you to -ss
[d-ck elder] wait! you’re ninja s-x party! you will ruin our plans!
guards! sound the alarms!
if people have s-x, they’ll break our thousand-year spell
there will be a revolution, and they’ll think for themselves
we control this planet of unsatisfied wood
why does being evil always feel so d-mn good?

[dan] f-ck that bullsh-t, we’ll make it right
get ready for a s-xy fight
my d-ck’s the spark of hope and a revolution shall ignite (tonight)
we’re taking flight, we have to find a girl
[d-ck elder] shoot the f-cking lasers!
shoot the f-cking lasers at ’em!
[dan] show her what it means to love, and fix this broken world
[d-ck elder] all the f-ckin lasers!
all the f-ckin lasers at ’em!
[dan] a new s-x king will rule; let the b-n-r banners be unfurled

[dan] ninja brian, look at that girl with the sad eyes and the beautiful blonde hair. i’m immediately in love!

(sixty-nine) she spent her life all alone
(sixty-nine) wanna take her to the bone zone
(sixty-nine) make her feel the pleasure
(sixty-nine) of my naughty treasures

part iv: grand reckoning at the castle of infinity

i can’t believe my eyes, but you’re the girl of my dreams
let’s both tear all of our clothes off like two pants-hating wolverines
the love we make will save the earth from this oppressive d-ck regime

we’re having s-x now
to change the world!
you brought three friends now
oh sh-t, they’re girls!

i think it’s obvious that people liked our s-xy show
multi-billion person orgy has broken out all across the globe
the human race, much like my junk, will now be free to grow

but what about the elders?
we tore their world to shreds
maybe they’ll be cool with it
oh hey, d-ck elders! how’s it goin’?

[d-ck elder] you two are f-cking dead!

[dan] so much for that, it’s time to put on pants
and run away from their death army which is starting to advance
[d-ck elder] shoot the f-ckin’ lasers!
way more f-ckin’ lasers at ’em!
[dan] we can’t die, we are way too young
and there are so many girls to ball
[d-ck elder] shoot the f-ckin’ lasers!
way more f-ckin’ lasers at ’em!
[dan] but now we’re cornered with our backs against the wall!

[d-ck elder] it’s over, danny s-xbang! your time has come!
but first, we’re gonna take care of your ninja friend, here!
(slash) aaaaaaahhhhh!
[dan] godd-mn, brian, you k!lled them all
now the empire will fall
i have to say in retrospect that was easier than i thought!
oh yeah!

part v: peace, at last, peace

our work here’s done, the future is secure
but my girl and i have one last farewell slam just to be sure
for underneath those rockin’ b00bs lies a heart that is so pure
take care of this world for me, my darling, i will always love you
…what is your name by the way? kristen? ah, a beautiful name
until that glorious day when we meet again, katie, farewell!

now let us fly into the night sky
and we’ll raise a gl-ss to -ss in a final goodbye
to sixty-nine, sixty-nine
sixty-nine sixty-nine
(sixty-nine) let us be gone
(sixty-nine) our quest is life-long
(sixty-nine) it’s a s-xy destiny so lets rock the f-ck on

part vi: yay

f-ck yeah
f-ck yeah

chimes fade out

- ninja sex party lyrics

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