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ninja sex party - unicorn wizard (2024 remaster) lyrics

[intro: danny s+xbang]
sometimes, i wish
i was even more awesome
than i already am
what would my life be like
if i turned that sh+t up to eleven
out of a possible five?
ninja brian, hand me my cloak
and my staff, and my h+rn
and that thermos of soup
i’m hungry but also thirsty
and you can kind of like eat and drink soup at the same time++
let’s go! woo!

[verse 1: danny s+xbang]
riding straight out of your imagination
using my magic to fight against crime
destroying evil with powers most awesome
protecting the weak almost all of the time
but not on sundays, game of thrones is on
now is the time for a man of conviction
the world needs a hero and i am that guy

[interlude: danny s+xbang, kristen acimovic]
look! who is that maskеd man?
that’s ninja brian but shut up about him
let’s focus on me, becausе
[chorus: danny s+xbang]
i am the unicorn wizard
riding for justice on a comet of stars
with the help of my sidekick, princess handjob
i’m more awesome and smarter than i already are
i am the unicorn wizard
my spells are amazing and my reflexes quick
my h+rn is my strength and my strength is my power
and my power is my h+rn and my h+rn is my d+ck

[interlude: danny s+xbang]
here’s your opportunity to stop listening
if this song got too amazing for you
no? okay

[verse 2: danny s+xbang]
my life is a party, the guests are supermodels
operation: i rule is a total success
each day, i invent a new form of karate
that changes the way that j+pan views the west
now that’s progress! どういたしまして!
then, we retire to the chamber of passion
and bathe in a pool of strawberries and cream
the strawberries rub and exfoliate gently
the cream travels places you can’t even dream
[interlude 3: danny s+xbang, kristen acimovic]
ugh, i think i just dreamed it
how was it? amazing?
uhh
you mean “uhh+stounding”? yeah, you did

[chorus: danny s+xbang]
i am the unicorn wizard
just like danny s+xbang, i’m handsome and strong
with the help of my h+llhounds, tinkles and gary
we punish the wicked then break into song
i am the unicorn wizard
a superhero for the entire human race
my wand casts a spell that will unlock the door
and the wand is my junk and the door is your face

[outro: danny s+xbang, rachel bitney wecht]
danny, danny, wake up!
oh, oh, oh hey, mom. i had the craziest dream!
i was the unicorn wizard!
aww, shut up
unicorn wizard!
i said “shut up”
you shut up

- ninja sex party lyrics

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