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nkenge 1x - perpetual. lyrics

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[verse 1]
i think that i’m crying my girl thinks
i’m lying she probably right and it’s easy to tell
not that it matters but i seen the patterns
the way that its going’s the way that it has been – she leaving as well

honestly, probably, i got some problems that gotta be ended
god, i be sinning. god i be hurting
god i’m not worthy of any of this, and i’m winning
i don’t even feel what i thought i’d be feeling – don’t feel like myself

i cheat on my girlfriend, i feed on the world
and the best i can do underwhelms me i’m failing, i’m failing myself
i gotta get help
gotta get…

i don’t tell the truth much i don’t think i do much
i don’t think i’m too much – i’m k!lling myself
i’m really in h-ll
the way that i’m living i’m just kinda feeling it out
and i’m wheeling about like i’m willing to fail

i’m still in good health. but mentally not though
it’s bigger than self. the me has got deeper inside me its harder to find me
and no one can tell
stop
i can’t be happy all the time
cus i’m not

[chorus]
we know
you ought ya be your best, no?
but we know it’s hard to be your best though
cus honesty –
honesty’s perpetual
honestly perpetual

[verse 2]
my ex trynna trap me
i told her i’m happy
and now she mad at me, she mad at the world, and she mad at herself
it’s bad for your health
look let me he- …there goes the trap again – you don’t need sympathy

honestly, been there get over it over it over it
honestly, just gotta take what you make it and roll with it
way too much to lose to leave it at praying and hope for it
you gotta make it and you gotta take it and roll with it

still call me “n-gga” so you know that i know what hopeless is
can’t be complacent. heaven’s adjacent to hopelessness
poverty, robberies, hommies and poppies and homelessness
infertile ovaries…just let me close with this-

i don’t talk about things i don’t know about
i don’t talk about sports, ‘cause i don’t know
first offenses or courts, ‘cause i don’t go
and i live in l.a., ‘cause it don’t snow

and i’m not the same person when i’m cold…
i’m not a lil man now i’m old…
i’m a young man
once i gave a lot away for a dumb plan

now i’m thinking steps ahead in the finite game – to the infinite
‘fore they cut the soul, they were crimping it
aim on lock, life on living it
used to watch the minister – all riveted

aim on goal – stance on pivoting
to account for the earth
and the universe according to my research…
i think it’s all one thing

and if it’s really all in my mind, then the people are too
so if i fix myself, we gonn be alright
and the bad things that we see fall out of sight

[chorus]
we know
you ought ya be your best, no?
but we know it’s hard to be your best though
cus honesty –
honesty’s perpetual
honestly perpetual

- nkenge 1x lyrics

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