no coast rap battles - 3pfd vs heir jordan lyrics
[round 1: heir jordan]
hey yo!
he begged for a top tier battle but this ain’t getting up your buzz, son
’cause i ain’t a top tier yet but i’mma dead him like i was one
see, this dork came on jordan’s level, they swore i’m performing metal
my swords like distortion pedals, keep on shredding till the fuzz comes
see, i’ve been battling for longer, never had to ask for m-ssive placement
see, that’s what’s wack, ’cause 3’s name doesn’t add up in this math equation
see, there’s dues you gotta pay and he just act like he don’t have to pay them
so i’m back to slay this aggravating cat for blatant tax evasion
y’all really think that this kid can wreck shop, y’all stop
just take the fitted off, dog, sweat drops, bald spot
this pathetic dummy match is getting ugly fast
you got the sweaty, bummy swag of everybody’s dad
and this boy just might be hating but your dusty old style screams
“loyal nightly patron at a buffalo wild wings”
so you can craft your verses, chorus, stanzas, and lines well
but you will always look like george costanza from seinfeld
[round 1: 3pfd]
you think i’m funny in a jester way? no, you’re meeting death today
eleven blades, seven ways will leave you with a severed face
and y’all like really be k!lling 3, that cr-p is inconceivable
true, but next to you, those lines are actually believable
now i don’t curse in my rap type style and that’s got me mad right now
’cause i’m thinking about your battle with diggy splash right now
and ooh, i wanna call you b-word t-ts so bad right now, cracker!
now usually – oh, hold it down
usually it’s clips and the twos when taking shots at catching your crew but i’m a different dude
so, isaac, i’m a better christian than you
when i do my god’s two-step, i’m a better holy ghost dancer than you
i got gl-sses, so i look more like ned flanders than you
but yo, you back a b-tch for a dollar versus written scholars
both our crews are doing music getting chickens to holler
yours is justin bieber soft so it’s kind of hard to swallow it
you love song’s teeny bop, mine’s the song of solomon
you hot air, jordan, your flow isn’t great spitting
see, jordan in white socks so we know that he ain’t hitting
back the ball, harry potter think his rhyme flow is fresh
you ain’t winning as a wizard, just a sideshow at best
you handcuff your chick, she ugly, she looks awful in a parable
like the bobcats with jordan knows it’s bottom of the barrel
[round 2: heir jordan]
let’s talk about your music, i’ve heard it, it’s awful to me
it’s not cool to use auto-tune to an awkward degree
how many tracks can my crew help you with? let’s stop it at three
let’s get this straight: to stay relevant, you hollered at me
see, to make a video for your new song “something new”
yeah, we wanted something new, no, homie, it wasn’t you
see, and it only got a few hundred views, now how can that not go swell
you shot the whole thing in the parking lot of a taco bell
y’all might play that off like a fat joke, that’s what you thought, oh well
he shot the whole thing in the parking lot of a taco bell
so they-o k.o., pack a punch, that’s my team
how you rock with taco bell but can’t crunch rap supreme?
see, most rappers make videos popping bottles when they clubbing
his whole budget went to copping tacos by the dozens
so don’t you let him say that he’s important in the streets
when he say he got that cheese he’s just ordering to eat
when he say he died from beef and sh-lls it’s not ’cause jordan cl!cking heat
i mean he’ll die from beef and sh-lls because he’s morbidly obese
[round 2: 3pfd]
see, he’s home school prom king, so he rap like you can tell that this geek’s fronting
you’re in a cl-ss by yourself so winning don’t mean nothing
i bet in home school you got picked on a lot
shoved in your foot locker, begged your sister to stop
she’d smear lipstick and spots to look like pimples and dots
even your dad said “hey, jordan, give me your tots”
yo, gosh, i got sk!lls, i’m the best on flow
show them happy hands, get clubbed with rex kwon do
nunchuk sk!lls, quick with the bo staff, what, this kid’s done
i’ll go ham and tell your girlfriend to come and get some
“tina, come get some ham!”
see, i ain’t dissing that you christian but i straight up can’t stand it
how this guy is always lying, yo, you’re breaking commandments
you say flames robbed you? that’s a lie, dude
you say dallas robbed you? that’s a lie, too
you’re better than 3p? can you believe the lies from that dude?
your video’s better than whiskey bar?…aiight, well, that’s true
but heat is bucking? yeah, right, like you’d ever shoot a piece
you’re backwards, you’re white, but you’d never shoot a 3
so run on me [?]
you won’t shoot but i suggest you pull up and release, let’s go
[round 3: heir jordan]
see, i got a hunger for greatness, a constant thirst to entertain
he’s got a hunger for steak-umms, a constant thirst for minute maid
see, y’all just unleashed a beast like cutting cerberus’s chain
when i’m speaking, it’s prometheus, serve ’em with the flames
see, he’s a steelers fan, but he don’t serve no purpose in the game
he’d root for any team whose quarterback has “burger” in his name
why’d y’all even say that this nerd clown could battle me?
i hate sports bars so much i just burned down an applebee’s
just to show y’all 3’s st–z is nothing
it’s chris bosh at the rodeo, now the heat is bucking
he gon’ try to give me tips on how to start in the game
but i never took 3’s pointers, i go hard in the paint
see, that’s foul, hit 3 in the key i’m singing
he don’t wanna bring that cheese with the heat i’m bringing
by the ending he’ll balk, no intentional walk
get the pitcher, before 3 strikes, i’m swinging
think about it!
there won’t be a tie, get a vest, jacket up and drop the slacks
’cause that’s how i just got 3p suited for a body bag, let’s go
[round 3: 3pfd]
now last time you got here ’cause i drove you and chauffeured
so you hating me, somehow i doubt
now i’m on the road to expose you
and that is what this round about
see, y’all, jordan’s ’bout to drop ’em, you should not just skip this
now here’s an actual king’s offspring lyric
he said:
“you wanna rob somebody? grab somebody?
chest out, stone cold smack somebody?”
ooooh, that sounds like a k!ller’s description
i know you ain’t preaching when you illing and spitting
but how’s that fit in with your music kind of still being christian?
the day you smack me, m will say cannabis is [?] spitting
lindsay lohan will quit with all the pills she been sniffing
stephen hawking will breakdance in his current illing condition
and mitt romney make a s-x tape with hillary clinton
and the way that you yell when you’re getting mad
is more awkward than your grandma with a hip that’s bad in a jujitsu cl-ss
you got in diggy’s face, he tried to stick his tongue in your mouth
if you were really brawling, jordan, you’d be punching him out
he said “you wish we were slow kissing” like this nerd was something sweet
that is not what jesus meant when he said turn the other cheek
you h-ll it but don’t sell it, so faking is jordan’s part
he just bucking, pleasing nothing, ain’t no way that jordan sparks
i’d rip your flesh and i would crack you, ribs are splitting right in half, dude
now my fist is literally on your heart just like a tattoo
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