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no coast rap battles - diggy splash vs. bs elliot lyrics

[verse 1: bs elliot]
this is probably the first time a woman ever came before diggy splash
condoms are 99% effective, ladies and gentlemen, the one percent
your parents don’t even understand you, joel, where the f-ck’d you get that accent?
it must be heaven sent, you’re god’s own excrement – i meant accident
if god forgives us for our sins, when’s he going to apologize to us for his next of kin?
you’re embarr-ssing him
you can spank diggy with rhymes about how his rhymes are weak
and he’ll, like a sh-tty christian, turn the other -ss cheek
that’s a biblical reference, like in your music, a mythical preference
diggy’s akin to your typical reverend, a penchant for small boys, call him michael devlin
diggy azalea!
you talk like a product of incest straight outta sedalia
you got a face for radio and a voice for down syndrome
that line stays low like diggy at the park creeping on kiddos
and going back to cat tv to edit those videos
you’re like a human furby, annoying and useless
but i know some [?] might like to use you for those loose lips
i mean you suck d-cks
i wouldn’t trust you to water my plants if you went out of town
and i wouldn’t f-ck you if i caught you with your d-ck up and your pants down
your little “i am a god” failed to be a shepherd
so don’t get surprised when i treat you like a leper
time!

[verse 2: diggy splash]
hey, girl, your boyfriend’s watching, i hope he’s a cuckold
’cause if not, we about to both be in trouble
stand like this and try to slip it in your b-tthole
i slow f-ck you while i juggle your bubbles
have you mumbling in tongues till i put one in your tunnel
then dip the f-ck out so you and your boyfriend can cuddle
look at me, i’m trying to think of a joke about your crooked teeth
because of me, this girl shampooed and conditioned
because of me this girl changed her position
you can replay it on youtube and see what she just did
pretty sure i just gave this girl six kids
margie trashman, probably partly a lesbian
time

[verse 3: bs elliot]
diggy called himself the jesus carrot top
but no one gives props to hat comics or messiah knockoffs
the only miracle diggy’s capable of
is convincing his hand that he’s capable of love
that’s why he never wears a glove
that skin-on-skin contact high is more pleasurable than his typical fleshlight
on your best night you’re like a race car driver with all the speed and none of the cars
and on your worst night you’re like a nokia phone ’cause you got no bars
your battles always sound so far from sober
you just repeat yourself over and over
you just repeat yourself over and over
you just repeat yourself, b-tch t-ts!
riff raff called, he wants his act back
or you can stay whack while i grind and you just play rap
so that’s that, when’s the last time you even got -ss?
i know, he was filling out a match.com profile
“job? what’s that? i had one for a while”
working at a strip club giving guys a d-ck rub
or bl-w j-bs for a 20, that’s a diggy lip dub
you got a lisp scrub and a lip chub, so you can’t get love with that d-ck nub
tiny p-n-s!
time!

[verse 4: diggy splash]
i’m the type to ask for your number and never call them digits
i’m more misogynistic than robin thicke is
i use quantum physics to brainwash b-tches
to do my laundry and wash my dishes
this b-tch appeals to my librarian fetish
snacking on my -ss, i bury her head in lettuce
2pac would have never told you to keep your head up
p-ssy smelling like yesterday’s ketchup
all you feminist b-tches out there on the internet
i don’t know what to tell ya
i’m just filtering through these b-tches
trying to prevent you being represented by another iggy azalea
tap my shoulder like she did last night when she tapped out
flip between two hoes, trying to decide that route
play back, put that sh-t in slow motion
i would never f-ck with this chick, instead i would choose lubriderm
i put a straw in my urethra and then jerk my worm
and slurp my sperm before i would ever f-cking flirt with her
burn!
suck my d-ck

[verse 5: bs elliot]
last year i beat diggy in a freestyle tournament
it was my first time rapping and he was too turnt to handle it
he flamed out right away and i stayed like a candle lit
’cause right before the battle i went outside and took a hit
marijuana!
let me get one thing straight, anyone in this room can be diggy splash
you just need two cans of pbr and a mustache
let me demonstrate:
“yo mama’s gross
she got twelve toes
but i wouldn’t put that jam on my toast”
but for real, you’re walking around like “i got the best beard and comb-o”
n-body cares, man, you sound like a h-m-
you’re rapping in slow-mo so betz gives your battles like ten minute promos
but maybe time moves different in your second life
maybe in ten years you’ll settle down with a nice bearded wife
calling up your mom like “the day’s finally here
i got 40 virgins and they’re all queers”
but for real, at least you got your band of bad-decision-making backup b-tches
who are more white bread than a fat man’s sandwiches
you never went rags to riches
but rags to fight homeless men for what’s left in garbages
you’re a garbage kid
i’ll put a cap on your words, that’s a garbage lid
you’re a stain to no coast, a tarnishment
and you’re fruity off the top, garnishment

[verse 6: diggy splash & (bs elliot)]
i’m the new leader of heaven’s gate
b-tch lost her gag reflex in second grade
life gave her lemons, she made lemon aids
margie krishman, even the g in your name is soft
(it’s not!)
mar-gee krishman, she trying to play it off
if we went on a date and we started to rain i wouldn’t share my umbrella
if we went on a date i wouldn’t ’cause i said she’s a fella
no coast’s new direction, long hair, no beard, bad rep, [?]
(there’s a hair)
trying to collect my dna
anyway, let me just say, i’ll set this up for women’s rights organizations
me and margie krishman, we wanna support women’s rights
time!

- no coast rap battles lyrics

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