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noctyrae - i want to die lyrics

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[verse]
i can’t remember the last time i felt alive
only thing holding me here is music and the drive
searching for a meaning, but it’s so hard to see
when something felt real it was never for me

i only felt love once, i thought it was a dream
but like everything else, it went away like a stream
i reach for a hug, but there’s no one there
i don’t deserve that, but lifе doesn’t care

[chorus]
i want to die, i don’t wanna fight no morе
my heart’s so cold, it’s like i’m stuck behind the door
i don’t need a reason
i don’t need a lie
i just want to fade

i just want to die, die
i just want to die
i just want to die, die
i just want to die

[verse 2]
chasin’ clouds, i’m lost in the smoke
inhale deep, let it burn like a joke
thought i’d quit, but i’m stuck in the loop
back to the flame, i’m caught in the swoop
rollin’ up pain, light it, let it fly
ashes fall down, but my soul’s stuck dry
told myself it’s the last, i can’t keep the pace
but i’m trapped in the haze, can’t find my grace

quick to relapse, but slow to admit
high as the ceiling, but i’m losin’ a bit
cycle’s a cage, but i dance in the trap
puff to escape, but i’m fallin’ right back

blowin’ out clouds, but the fog’s still thick
i’m drownin’ in smoke, yeah, the clock’s movin’ quick
swear it’s the last, but i’m still on the grind
addicted to the burn, and i’m losin’ my mind

[pre+chorus]
tired of pretendin’, tired of the weight
i aim for a change, but i’m always there too late
reachin’ for somethin’ that’s never in reach
callin’ for help, but it sounds like a screech

i wanted love, but i’ve given up on trust
so tired of pretending, like i’m not falling apart, dust
i reach for a hand, but it’s always too far
i wanted to be held, but i’m just left with a scar
[chorus]
i want to die, i don’t wanna fight no more
my heart’s so cold, it’s like i’m stuck behind the door
i don’t need a reason
i don’t need a lie
i just want to fade

i just want to die, die
i just want to die
i just want to die, die
i just want to die

[verse 3]
ain’t no happy endings, we just rot away
they say “keep fighting,” but i lost the way
every day the same, every night so slow
tryna find a reason, but it won’t show

street lights fl!cker, but they don’t shine bright
city so loud, but it’s quiet in my mind
look in the mirror, i don’t see me
just a hollow+eyed ghost where i used to be

tried to belong, but i never could fit
world too fake, and i’m tired of the script
time don’t heal, it just makes me decay
and nothing i do ever washes away
maybe i’m cursed, maybe i’m fate
maybe i’m stuck in a loop i create
nothin’ is real, nothin’ is right
maybe i fade into nothin’ tonight

- noctyrae lyrics

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