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nolxck - self-hate lyrics

[verse:]
always in a battle with violence
i never question
just accept the repercussions as a lesson
push the b+ttons make em angry
no cases i never did it
always hid
my sh+t but i’m tired
i’ll eat the lead and get buried
i live in dread
paranoia is necessary
i lead the charge for the battle inside my head
hundred of me but they’re dead
i asked for meds but nevеr took em
left the scripts up on my dеsk
i’ll smoke a bag and if i don’t sleep
i know i’ll sleep well on my deathbed
i got voices but they tell me just to stress less
“because if you keep going down that path, i have to tell you, you will not be here, and you will not like the place you end up in”
if theres a heaven then my heads h+ll
paranoia
if they catch me better put me in a death cell
i’ll tie it up
you won’t get sh+t from no dead mouths
i don’t eat
and got no reason
i exist to count my bank now
i’m breaking bread then scr+pe it off the plate
i’m alive and people askin how
always working
wiping sweat off of my brows
box the c+
“it’d be more harmonious if you found some kindred spirits like yourself, cause man you’re really good at selling things”
box the c+nt
the razors never changing
i can’t run from my past or erase it
so i’m high as f+ck and chasing it
adrenaline and wasted
waking up in the basin
imma fake my confidence
stand up and act brazen
i hate this
i’m lazy and jobless
any money made come from drug sh+t
i’m f+cked
and i gave up on life
still young
death ain’t a sacrifice
but goal
i won’t martyr for this
i want it on record that i’m trying harder for this
but look
people never really make it out the “outback”
any famous aussies always fall off in the end
so we sell a couple grams just get an ounce back
i don’t need a world tour
but i don’t wanna be no trap dad
but i’m trapped and i keep bagging that
i racked because i’m poor but need a scran tonight
my bad i left the f+cker bleeding on the floor in rags tonight
codeine be my kryptonite
styrofoam in cribs tonight
powder in my nose and if i die tonight
i know that i’ll be alright
okay i lied but i wanna be buried right
“but there was uhm, a $5 bill rolled up, crushed up pills on a spoon, uhm, and an empty packet of benzos”

- nolxck lyrics

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