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nomrah - and i will. lyrics

[intro: charles bukowski & interviewer]
it’s nothing that… that you want that you don’t have right now
is there really? i mean you don’t think about things like that
you don’t want a sailboat… the only thing i’m missing now…
it’s more privacy that i’d like
i would like to be alone more
like the phone rings too often
there’s too many cameras and all that
and i’ve kinda accepted… but it’s not me
when these things are gone, i go back to the room
and i become myself again
oftentimes, i pull down all the shades like i used to
and just lay down in a room for five to six hours
just alone
just lay in that bed and gеt something back
some kind of juice
just bеing away from people is one of the most marvelous fulfillments
a man like me could have
just the absence of humanity..
is a fulfillment so graceful that even god wouldn’t understand if he invented them
which he probably didn’t
[chorus]
maybe i should go and start a new wave
introspective nature with a bit of depreciation now
hopefully i’ll find what i needed to say
but while i’m searchin’ for it, i’ll just tell you
i will (i will), i will (i will)
i will (i will), and i will (i will)
i will (i will), and i will (i will)
do what it takes until i’m standin’
maybe i should go and start a new wave
introspective nature with a bit of depreciation now
hopefully i’ll find what i needed to say
but while i’m searchin’ for it, i’ll just tell you
i will (i will), i will (i will)
i will (i will), and i will (i will)
i will (i will), and i will (i will)
do what it takes until i stand still

[verse 1]
standin’ at a stand+still, sinkin’ in the landfill
strugglin’ to pay bills, everything just ain’t real
i go to step but now my feet are stuck (i’m trapped)
i hope and i guess that i can run amuck
still, i said it (yuh), i meant it (i did) and you should i know i’m serious
am i dead if the sedative just makes me go delirious? (huh?)
i said i’ll reach my goals, and i swear to you i will
but if you read the polls, they all say i’ll probably fail
but i won’t, i mean that, so don’t you go delete that
tweet that you were sendin’ my way hopin’ that i’d read that (nah)
i know it’s hard to stand still floatin’ out in cybersp+ce
but stand here on the pink moon with me and you’ll find your place
that pink moon resides inside of my skull here
and that seems to imply that i am alone here (i am)
but i ain’t goin’ nowhere even when my badge fades
and i forget my name and the power that i waste
[chorus]
maybe i should go and start a new wave
introspective nature with a bit of depreciation now
hopefully i’ll find what i needed to say
but while i’m searchin’ for it, i’ll just tell you
i will (i will), i will (i will)
i will (i will), and i will (i will)
i will (i will), and i will (i will)
do what it takes until i stand still

[verse 2]
aquarius upon the moon, sitting on the scale of libra
fighting with the urge to hide emotions and to share a heater
he’s been known to isolate, he’s been known to hibernate
he’s been known to act tough even though his mind’s at stake
his moon, sun, and rising all reside in aquarius
he’s obsessed with being different even though it be scarin’ him
he runs away into the pink moon in his skull
and the constellations there give him the comfort to lull

[chorus]
maybe i should go and start a new wave
introspective nature with a bit of depreciation now
hopefully i’ll find what i needed to say
but while i’m searchin’ for it, i’ll just tell you
i will (i will), i will (i will)
i will (i will), and i will (i will)
i will (i will), and i will (i will)
do what it takes until i stand still
[outro: alan watts]
now, what seems to develop is this
most people think that “i” is a center of sensitivity
somewhere inside their skin
and the majority of people feel that it’s in their heads
and civilizations in different periods of history have differed about this
some people feel that they exist in the solar plexus
but in american culture today, or in the western culture in general
most people feel that they exist in here (the brain)
and there is, as it were, a little man
sitting inside the center of the skull
and he has a television screen in front of him
which gives him all messages from the eyeb+lls
he has earphones on, and that gives him all messages from the ears
and he has in front of him a control panel
with various dials and b+ttons and things
which enable him to influence the arms and legs
and to get all sorts of information from the nerve ends
and that’s “you”

- nomrah lyrics

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