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noodlez.707 - mockingbird (remix) lyrics

[intro]
yeah this is for my dad, he dedicated this to me before he knew i was a boy. after he said he still dedicates it to me so this is for him
i hope you know this is true sh-t

[verse 1]
look i know that your my dad
and i know you dont like my mom
but im sorry i still dont understand why you never wanted to be my dad
i can see you dad
i can see you and the family you would have rather have
you still dont understand
how i feel inside cause you think im fine
you dont care
you were barley there
your the reason for all these tears
no more lying this is how it is
this is how i feel right here
you done really put me through it
why’d you do it
i been going crazy and believe me soon im gonna really lose it
why didn’t you want me in your world
all my pain
all my hate
all my fears
all my tears
sitting there losing touch with the world
losing feelings everyday
my heart is broke in more than two
learning how to live without you
got locked up cause my uncle two
you showed up to court back in 2014
told the judge you didn’t want anything not even custody of me
he made you take me but what did i do to make you not wanna take me
and i still dont understand why you didn’t want me for me
i did not want life to be this way
but then i got released
we never ever agreed and im sorry for all the things i’ve done and for being your kid
and for being me and breaking up you and your family and for not getting along with the kids and getting us kicked out on the street
i guess now i ruined your family and all your dreams and im sorry for all the times that you had to take care of me
but i still wanna tell you how much you hurt me
made me wanna go to sleep and never wake up as me

[chorus]
now i gotta get up and wipe my eyes
and pretend everything is alright
make ’em all think im tough and ain’t crazy
can’t ever let them hear or see me cry through the night
i can’t ever let them know how i really feel inside
so i gotta dry my eyes
trying to survive through the days and maybe i can make it just another night

[verse 2]
huh its funny
i remember when i lived with you and i thought you never loved me
and every time i seen you it made my stomach feel funny
i felt like a dummy
cause i didn’t realize it but i was blind
but then i opened my eyes and realized that your not lying
i thought about my mom
but i didn’t understand why you left but then i didn’t believe it but next person that left was my mom
and i was tired
why does everybody keep letting me down and keep putting me off like im nothing but a piece of cloth
now im numb
since then i been doing nothing but breaking the law
got put on the hood started feeling accepted and like i was really wanted
then i started ballin
cops started investigating and then i got incarcerated and was fighting for a while
it all got dropped didn’t have enough evidence to charge
ever since then i been ducking and dodging the cops
back in 2016 i got caught posted on the block
then i kept getting charges
fighting the c.o.’s tagging sh-t and got more gang charges
but thats when i got sent to r.o.p then i started trippin and started saying f-ck everybody im gonna be me
but then even that place didn’t work probation started thinking
then they kept me locked up and i got out recently
i got out for exactly forty-days but then i broke house arrest because the thoughts i couldn’t stand it
the next day i was at the place they wanted me to call home probation woke me up and told me your back to your old habits
they asked me why i said because the thoughts i really couldn’t stand it
they said well thats a choice you made now your gonna be locked up for a while
just then they started walking me out the house
then i got outside and started looking around
started laughing they said what why are you laughing your not gonna get another chance to get out
i told ’em its funny you need all these pigs just to get a sixteen year old out of his house
wow
theres about ten now
all of ’em here
even task force to
why are they here
to get you outta there
we had to get you and you will be gone for more than a moment

[end chorus]
and dad i wish you could’ve helped me out
but now i think different of the world
everything is cold to me
and im still lonley
and im forever gonna be broken inside
i dont know if ill ever be able to be fixed inside
but im taking pills so i can try
sometimes i lose it but im going through it
and eventually ill back to crackin laughs

- noodlez 707 lyrics

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