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north of ping-pong - what goes up must come down lyrics

[verse 1]
ah mate, thanks for stopping
i’ve just escaped from a lock in
my body hurts from body popping
your the first cab that’s bothered stopping (really?)
surely i don’t look that shocking
i know my moves tonight where rocking
because i came second place in the breakdancing contest
spinning on my head, like a boffin
at the garage, do you mind stopping?
there’s a girl in there i been clocking
she gets my ticker, tick tocking
i’ll just pop in and get a little shopping (alright, no problem)
then when she clocks off
she might come round, and take her socks off
and put on stockings, in the morning i’ve forgotten
and wake up looking like johnny rotten (hmm, well probably drinking too much, ahh?)

let me tell you something, this is what i always say, right

[hook]
what comes up, must go down
on the round-a-bout, then you must go round
if your a cat, then get out the dog pound
if you into dancing, then dance to the sound

just pull over mate, i’ll jump out here
what here?
keep the change yeah?
alright, thank you man, take it easy, yeah?

thanks mate (throws up)
oh, dear

well that’s charming, innit, mile end please guv’nor
2 3 2 pob
(roger that 232)
that’s a natty suit your wearing, where you been tonight?

[verse 2]
i went to a club, and it was theme night
but in the dim light, something didn’t seem right
but then i seen this man in a beam of light
hanging from his t-ts, from the ceiling
i think i’ve gone club wrong night
i wanna go home, i’m not feeling right
i think i’m gonna have bad dreams tonight
does that mean i’m squeamish and uptight?
i thought it was gunna be hoes and pimps
i’m in pincers surrounded by gimps
fat blokes, in rubber! who look like toads
waiting for a go, on the electrodes (ahhh!)
when i heard the screams, my garry goes
“i don’t know why people like those shows”
maybe too come hang about with other weirdoes
but i’d seen enough, i was on me toes, you know what i mean (okay…)

and i’m serious when i say this, some of the girls looked quite as well

[hook]
what comes up, must go down
on the round-a-bout, then you must go round
if your a cat, then get out the dog pound
if you into dancing, then dance to the sound

thanks mate, be lucky

(wringing phone)
yeah, i think we should start by firing, firing a couple of people, yeah
particularly jerry in accounts, he’s really p-ssing me off

[verse 3]
been to see a br-ss, in the dog and draper
she’s a cross between morticia and kat slater
she rubbed my winky with a bit of sandpaper
thought i’d take a raincheck on the cheese grater
i’ve had it before, and it really hurts later
so i tried enslavement to a giant vibrator
straight to a & e, my -ss looks like a crater

go man get out me cab, i’ll see you later

but i’m wearing a nappy?
i don’t care man, get out
but i’ll give you a tip
no man i’ll give you a tip, alright
this is outrageous! i’ve never been so humiliated in all my life

taxi! taxi! you swine!

[hook]
what comes up, must go down
on the round-a-bout, then you must go round
if your a cat, then get out the dog pound
if you into dancing, then dance to the sound

- north of ping pong lyrics

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