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nosebleedr - antemortem lyrics

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i’m so consumed by my hate and by sadness
i’ve come to confusion by the anger that i practice
i’ve lost my hold over the clarity i had once
and traded it in for this motherf+cking madness

there was a light that i can remember
but it’s been so long since i lost its glimmer
now further into darkness i walk, the descender
distant is the life that i started in december

i’ve cast away all the hope that i had
lead by insecurity, i’ve sacrificed the good in me
i can’t see anything but black
as i wait for panic to attack

for panic to attack

surrounded by the abstract, this ground feels like broken glass
when suddenly, i see into a mirror that’s made up of cracks
asking, “what if the path that i wander was once vibrant
“and i turn out to be what brought on this violence?”
revelations revealed through the past
but am i too far to go back?

silence for those who’ve had to suffer me
as i’ve crawled across stones, mangling my knees
falling out from a distance + carrying out penance
inflicting repentance + as i manifest in blood
deviate
from the sick that you seek within you
manipulate
the essence of disdain

- nosebleedr lyrics

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