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not me - ambition lyrics

[intro]
going along the course of life
i decided i got a few regrets
momma used to tell me you a good kid
please never change, and now

[verse 1: kase]
i ain’t the man that i used to be
pain never cease but really that ain’t new to me
i could quit the game but then what would that do to me
momma said i changed the words really ruined me
when you start thinking, what you could be
if you break all the rules to see a paper spree
it ain’t worth it now my own worst enemy
reflecting on my baby sister in her booster seat
and how she, used to keep me in check
knowing i had her respect
i could have ruined her life
with a slip of the feds
thinking i’m making it right
as i’m laying in bed
covering sheets of lined paper up with regret
now my girl and me ducking
and i’m secretly ruined
knowing ma wouldn’t approve
of the things that we doin’
on the road to the riches
hoping that i’ll be forgiven
i put my head to the ground
thinking of turning around, listen

[hook]
this a word to the kids
it ain’t cool man to sell drugs
ask me now that i’m big
i’d say i wish i would’ve left that to the real thugs
and this a word to my momma
apologies for the drama
you know i’ll love you forever
no hesitations or commas
i fiend to clean up my act
of that i’m making a promise
i only hope for your approval cause regret’s what i harvest

[verse 2]
k!lling myself over shame
living two different lives, under two separate names
not wanting the people i respect
to see my accomplishments
and distancing myself from the ones
i ain’t grown from yet
i’ve spit some sick rhymes
even sicker yet
and done some sick things in my life
if i ain’t did i bet
that i’d be in a different place
no longer hiding my face
i ain’t proud that to my family
i’m just short of a disgrace
but i can’t live in the past
i’ve got to pick up the pace
and move on, to better things
get ahead in the race
it’s kind of crazy how i’m feeling lately
so out of place
remind me say it again baby
why you ain’t gone away?
cause you could do so much better
although i’ll love you forever
i just can’t love you the same
as i can tell you’re expecting
girl we gon’ have our ups!
but we gon’ have our regression
and i can’t buy you the ring you wanted
we in a recession
and i don’t make enough money
to even pay for the plumbing
or buy a bottle of tylenol
for this cold that i’m catchin’
i hope you know that to me-
you’re nothing short of a blessin’
and i will always offer you
all of my care and protection
we had a happy beginning i promise happier endin’
but all the time in between
we’ll fill with frequent defendin’
cause we constantly fightin’
and n0body winnin’ i hope to fix the depression i’ve caused
from the beginnin’

[hook]

[bridge]
and it’s a word to wale
it is a plea that i’m coppin’
a plea for forgiveness from my girl and my momma
i know i’ve done a lot wrong
i know i’m part of the problem
i know i haven’t lived up to what you both would’ve wanted, but now
i apologize, i’m going to try to make it right
all the fights, and the lies, and the times i made you cry
the black spots on my soul that of no more will arise
and i hope you see the good in me by looking in my eyes

[interlude]
and i’m going to take those regrets
and i’m going to bury them deep in the ground
and i’m going to make a change
i’m going to make a change back
to what i’ve been before
i just wanna make my parents proud, know what i’m saying?

[verse 3]
brain still runnin’, my mind goes numb and
my heart still beat as fast as travis barker drummin’
and to look back at my life, make me feel kind of dumb and
i just want it all to end, but i’m scared of what else comin’
know it’s time to make a change to something far better
i can no longer erase all memories of bad weather
apologies to god, apologies to heaven
cause i haven’t been the person i was sent to earth and meant to be
been blessed mentally, grat-tude for blessing me
with parents so patient they can put up with the waitin’
while i idle compensation and blatantly make a mess to clean
take the rest of me rip my heart from my chest you’ll see
i’ve been brought up to be the best of me
caught up in all the pressure please help me relieve the stress
i heave piles of my regrets at these, poor, helpless hip-hop beats
surrounded in the memories as long and sick as centipedes
and i’m done with having enemies
never in my life again will i pretend to be
something that i’m not
time to live for what i’ve got, family is at the top
time is all there is to waste now make it count for when it stops

- not me lyrics

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