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nthn (uk) - sometimes / lost lyrics

sometimes
i wonder just how far i’ve got
it’s been a long time
since i last felt a lot
but i never let it get the best of me cause i refuse to
even though there are moments when i feel like how i used to
happens every day so i just take my time with it
crack smile and keep on acting like i’m fine with it
but i’m tired of it
all of these emotions that i’m trying to feel
even ones i show, it’s hard to know if it’s even real

can’t get away from my problems, they follow me
think they’ll always be a part of me
and existing ain’t difficult now but it’s learning to live that’s been hard for me
hardly feel anything most of the time
some days it’s a blessing, some days i wish i
could go back to when i was thinking too much
i used to feel everything now i feel numb
(numb!)
but still got a lot of people that i love
a couple of ones i put nothing above
cause i’ve come much further than i thought i could
if it wasn’t for them, i don’t know if i would
have made it out alive
probably the only reason that i survived
it’s all a lot to think about sometimes
it’s all a lot to think about sometimes

even my free time has a cost
walking round in my own house feeling lost again
unsettled by the emptiness inside my head
got me wishing i could feel anything else instead
full calendar, vacant mind
living like a visitor most of the time
lost track of how many nights away this year
renewed the lease but i’ve hardly been here

8 cities
4 countries
2 weeks
dividing all my time to find i’m caught in between
where i find myself and where i wanna be
feeling in the wrong when i’m doing what’s right for me
too worried ’bout the way i’m perceived
too focused on what i’ve achieved
feels like i forgot to live in the moment
i hope i learn how before it’s over

- nthn uk lyrics

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