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nuclear bubble wrap - birds and bees lyrics

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i’m at a middle school each day from 7 till 2
teaching kids math and science that they’ll never use
but each year there’s one thing that i always dread
the school picked me to teach this subject called s+x ed

this is not the thing that i signed up to do
it’s not like the kids don’t have a clue
i tell them all about the birds and bees
and details all about each std
i scare them, saying they all are gonna die
if they even think ‘bout getting cozy at night
i try to be cool but my face turns bright red
why can’t their parents teach ‘em this instead?

everyone starts to laugh cause they’re little tards
why must a class like this be so long and hard?
but since it comes so quickly i think that is great
i’d hate for the class to turn into a mass debate

these are not the classes that i wanna do
i can’t wait until the day is through
i tell them all about the birds and bees
and scare them with a rant on pregnancy
they all treat the class as if it’s all a joke
wrapping their hands around innuendos
and i swear to god, i’m gonna lose my head
if i hear another “that’s what she said”

out of here… out of here…
i want out of here, out of here, out of here
out of here…

this is not the thing that i signed up to do
it’s not like they don’t know how to screw
i tell them all about the birds and bees
it’s not like they haven’t seen it on tv
they all know this stuff, they’ve got the internet
this isn’t a subject that they could forget
kids will do anything to get ahead
why can’t their parents teach ‘em this instead?

- nuclear bubble wrap lyrics

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