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nugatory hope - apparition, pt. 1 lyrics

v1:
the revenants of my past percolate the known
a sickly, suffocating hide
living on the fringe; isolated, alone
with every cry for aid denied
the remnants of my visage lie, collapsed and maligned
consigned to be alone again
the void inside has commandeered my peace of mind
with silence as my only friend

refrain:
but then i study your eyes
and see no compromise
to the war that rages inside
i see the broken bonеs, the scars, the closing tomb
and your desirе to right the wrongs of yesterday

chorus:
you crave repose
from this deep morass that hollows out your soul
it all reflects when i look into your eyes
(like a mirror, shining into my soul
and when i try to grab ahold
your image breaks into manifold)
deep down, you know
that the world awaits beyond the ash snow
the cursed past bleeds the pregnant now
tyrannized by your old self
v2:
in the wake of the death of purpose
pride has shoddily taken reign again
alone, and constrained by the crushing weight
of coagulated pains within
i blew my chance to change when i fell on my knees
and bared my weakness to the crowd
now as i pore through distant, fragile memories
i ponder what it’d take to save me now

chorus:
i think of all the glories that i made up
i think of all the times enough wasn’t enough
it all reflects when i look into your eyes
(like a mirror, shining into my soul
and when i try to grab ahold
your image breaks into manifold)
the past is the jail that imprisons me
and moving on isn’t easy as it seems
but in your face, i see a hope for change
‘cause you’re the apparition that mirrors me

bridge:
i fight a one+man war against the forces that deplore
the thought of me being anything more
my past mistakes obscure a future seemingly pure
leaving me listless and insecure
if i could just atone for errors made alone
i’d show them all why from the start i was pr+ne
but i saw you in the darkness, fighting just as hard
i hope you’ll notice me and lower your guard
‘cause when i study your eyes
i see no compromise
to the war that rages inside
i see the broken bones, the scars, the closing tomb
and your desire to right the wrongs of yesterday

what’s mine is yours to confide
as the rapids pull me inside
bravely, you join for the ride
as we drink, swim, and purify
away from the jagged blue
you save me, and i save you
bathe me, bathe me in your light
let me find a home in your heart!

- nugatory hope lyrics

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