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nugatory hope - escape lyrics

bolstering my reserve
this unrelenting, stinging hurt
it has a greedy spiteful thirst
consuming all, sparing nothing
when everything is said and done
there’s no real place that i can run
with a bullet and a gun
i wonder why i even try
i keep the fury inside
where hate and envy reside
i’m on the verge of egocide
there’s no hope, just give it up
please rid me of these sparring voices
all my life, never offered choices
i don’t want to be appointed
to live this life, so dark and trite

there’s not much time to escape
this cursed place that has it for me
there is no way to escape
this scalding spite and true self loathing
everything that made me was stripped
i’m so f-cking lost and lonely

i don’t want to see the end, give me truth instead
my heroes are all dead
in need of a light, i slowly lose the fight
i can’t escape this h-ll

i’m broken, dazed, confused, and losing all control
this gaping hole in my morale started as subliminally as can be
it then fissured open with intent to kill my love for everyone and everything
i vied and tried for something more, but every time
i ended up with my face in the dirt
there’s no escape, there’s no repent
everyone’s just bent to see me hurt

i don’t want to see the end, give me truth instead
my heroes are all dead
in need of a light, i slowly lose the fight
i can’t escape this h-ll

please alleviate the pain i feel
by relegating myself, i opened up a seal
when i realized that the pain’s the only thing that’s real
i let it take over and control me as i kneeled
dragged and beaten to the point of senselessness
these broken thoughts render me abuzz with restlessness
i can’t get out, so i just gave up hope
i can’t escape this h-ll

- nugatory hope lyrics

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