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numbing.mood - that feeling lyrics

i’ve spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling
that’s feeling of being lonely, that feeling on being lost
that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off
that feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious
that feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this
only to get silence in return
i’d lay in that bed crying, and i’d toss and i’d turn
and i turn and i toss to this day
the doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray
i tried both, and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away
so forgive me if i fantasize about being gone today
i’m an actor who got really good at being on today
but when i turn off, i go right back into the shadows
i’m in the deep end now, but i startеd in the shallows
and i might just drown myself in thesе waves
suburbian h+ll, these homes are all graves
everyone’s coping with something but won’t admit it, they’re all too afraid
and these kids are glued to watching me, what do i say?
if i’m honest with them, maybe they won’t think highly of me
everything they want me to be is what i’m dying to be
but everything i really am is what i’m not trying to be

- numbing mood lyrics

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