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obdur8 bh - culpable lyrics

i guess it starts exactly right there
i mean when the realization finally hits you like
was this the picture i drew, was this the picture i was supposed to paint
and you just keep on searching for a place to put the…

lies that i crafted now lies in my closet
arrogance abandoned fears that my pride ate
cynical commitments stuffed on my daily bread
vertical oddities, inflated renegade
polemic safeguarding my incurring self
am i a poltergeist causing disturbance
pity pillow with egos inflicted
i can’t doze off, wish sleep was my serenade
reckoning every fault with a cold rhythm
i overlook the loophole causing my mayhem
“l+st for some solace”, this circle is addictive
need a grave to bury excuses that i seek
why am i blind to the hurt i’ve been layering
circle too small, ain’t no one i’ve been favoring
still got the love but with sympathy packaged in
said i don’t hate, why the f+ck i’ve been degrading
and i tried to replicate the better picture i painted
peerless for the run i’ve been running, i hated+
decorating every devastated self i attained
and i couldn’t survive the storm that later rained
so i looked for a shelter to bed in
the promises i made that went f+cking missing
apologies that i owe, here you have it
and gratitude sprinkled modestly beneath it
my mind is the drug i hate that i’m its addict
an apostate for the self+trust i believe i need
i need a sedative a partial remedy
stick with this vanity like its a part of me

and then
everything felt so culpable
wondering if i did f+ck my soul
everything i did felt culpable
wondering if i did f+ck my soul

- obdur8 bh lyrics

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