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oceano - internal war lyrics

i never contemplated from adolescence to a man
why i’m so quiet, with little friends,
could the reason be i’m whispering to spirits?
apparitions inside my head.
i tried fighting off the demons
until the showed me what i needed,
conjuring emotions and violent solutions.
i let them burrow deeper and possess a part of me.
now i am one with the d-mned!
they’re f-cking tempting me!
the tension keeps rising!
tell me it’s alright to make wreckless decisions,
-ssert my vengeance!
i want to force them to feel what it’s like to be
still covered in the scars of past oppressors.
fortunately, i healed faster indulging in grief.
still, i’ll never forgive what was done to me!
my escape is empty highways.
a simple pen serves well as my weapon,
after being held captive,
slightly considering death,
once one thing i loved was robbed from me.
slicing a knife through the wrist
was the first and final attempt.
leaving behind the mental abuse and emotional stress,
i’m harmed, buf finally free.
when i think about it i don’t need help.
i just inflicted scars to watch myself bleed.
maybe to realize how damaged i am internally.
no longer suppressing memories,
the past had to be released!
i’m not miserable now.
still you couldn’t handle what transpires within my dreams.
incessant rambling, horrific crime scenes.
if there was a god, he’s punishing me.
for years of defiance and blasphemy.
where was my calm before or after the storm?
even when i reach r.e.m. my mind is still at war.

- oceano lyrics

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