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offbeat - friends like these lyrics

[verse 1]

if you see me when i’m with my best mates
you might wonder if we’re even friends
coz all we do is argue
trade insults,and make jokes at one another’s expense
but we don’t mean to cause offence
even though that might be the appearance
it’s just the way that we are with each other
where the c-word is a term of endearment
some people think it’s a british thing
and that we’re too repressed to express our feelings
but i disagree – we could get all along
but taking the p-ss is so much more appealing
the irony is that the closer we are
the harsher the jokes and remarks that we’re making
so if i just smile and ask how you are – chances are that good you’re just an acquaintance
the worst thing about friends like these is when you introduce two from different groups
– coz the only thing that they’ve got in common is a mutual love of abusing you
and you might think this just refers to the men
but trust me the girls can be even worse than them
and tryna fight back is not even worth it
coz when they get together then you can’t get a word in
sometimes i wonder what it might be like
if all my friends were just nice and supportive
i tried to make some new friends like this
but after about 5 minutes i was bored stiff
you see that’s just my sense of humour
and i’m drawn to people who are just the same
besides if you asked all my friends who the worst one out of us was
they would say my name

[hook]

if you meet us then you’ll see, that we are true friends indeed
but trust me with friends like these, you do not need enemies

[verse 2]

yo, i learnt the hard way not to leave facebook logged in on my lunch break
coz there’s a constant battle that’s waged to see who can create the worst status update
it all started when my orientation was changed one day to say that i’d be outed…
and i didn’t know til my mum phoned me to say “well done son, we’ve always known about it”
and these days when i go to parties
i pace myself and don’t drink so fast now
not because i’m more sensible
but coz my friends all draw on my face when i p-ss out
i’ve lost count of the number of times i’ve woken up in the morning covered in graffiti
and sometimes i’ve not even known until i’m walking home and other people see me
but at least when i go to bars and try to meet some girls my friends are there to help me
i’m like “bruv i’ve forgotten her name, go over and ask her, come back and tell me”
i get the name and start to chat
but in 5 seconds flat the girl is leaving
i’m like “what, was it something i said?”
look back at my friends and see them all creasing
but i’d be lying if i tried to pretend to be innocent and didn’t give as good as i get
and i don’t wait to retaliate coz it’s a fact that attack is the best form of defence
and sometimes we get carried away
with the things that we say and it can go too far
but at the end of the day it’s all fun and games
we’re all mates and we know that we mean no harm

[hook]

if you meet us then you’ll see, that we are true friends indeed
but trust me with friends like these, you do not need enemies

- offbeat lyrics

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