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oggik - a curse wihtout origin lyrics

[intro]
last year the same ’bout to feel it again
the way is getting steeper
here to forget but then drank out of regret
i’m too much of a dreamer
you won’t be mine think i got that far
even after all that time you’re corrupting my mind
see the stars
i found love in you at last
but youre back to living life and i’m back being outcast

[verse]
all the faces in my life have lost meaning
pills do not work and im stuck with the same feeling
i’m running out of time
i’m running out of life
i’m running out of things that make existance worthwhile
everyday people stress about thе same stuff
same stuff they told mе countless times before
as if i suddenly feel better now and got my life together now
i’m stuck and i felt like this forever now
it’s so hard to find a reason not to go
again and again i fall down and it shows
every few days i come across a new low
and ask myself how long will this go on for
change the pace and my ways
everything i tried just turned out to be waste
it hurts that i’m unable to cry
not a day goes by without contemplating suicide
i know deep down that i’m not enough
maybe that is the reason i can’t receive love
at this point i dont wanna get my hopes up
cause everytime i did i got left in the dust
it’s hopeless and that thought got ominous
honestly i’m ready to just call it quits
i keep lying to everyone around me
if i would be honest they would probably just doubt me
i never opened up until recently
and i dont think anybody takes me seriously (yeah)
so whats point in the trying
if n0body even cares that im dying
now the years keep on passing by
and i’ve grown to hate myself more
life ain’t nothing but problems
and i can’t endure it anymore
i’d like to say i’m sorry but really i’m not
not once im my life have i felt like i’m loved
nowadays i find comfort in dark songs
nowadays i find comfort in dark thoughts
took me years to open up you forgot it fast
stop asking me whats wrong yeah like i could tell
now please leave me alone like you always do
i just wanna rest now but that’s been impossible
sleeping through the day stay up all night
dodging interaction and pointless conversation
i’m waiting for the time just to pass by
listen to the ravens that have gathered on my gravestone
i’m hanging on a thread thats about to rip
and i’m tired of excuses
tired of my fake sh+t music should be genuine
i am dying in my dreams but they’re lucid
another year passed look how time flies
clouded my mind ’till the herb became my lifeline
i could tell you how i feel yeah im frightend but
should have already passed by now in hindsight
so think about it what am i left with
a pointless existence with feelings so distant
nothing to wish upon perception so twisted
i can’t cut the ties i’d rather cut where my wrist is
every night i can’t sleep
thoughts digging deeper than before
even in my dreams i’m on my own
’till my bones start to mold
left to die out in the cold
and to you i’m sorry that i’m f+cked up
i always crave your love when i’m drugged up
i fish my emotions out the sewer
know that it’s not much but i’d give them all for yours
no matter what you say in my eyes you were perfect
no matter what it takes i’m still sure it’d be worth it
i’m looking for a purpose but i always end up hurting
someone save me i can’t take it
how do i deserve this
a curse without origin
drown out my emotions for a moment
down the potion and i pour again
i’m horrible

i take all my torment make it audible
can you feel what i’m feeling what i’m going through
it’s comical
honestly
only dark thoughts in my sh+t head voiced without restraint
i just need another mishap to end all of my pain
and i’ll be on my way
nothings gonna change if i only contemplate
i close my eyes and i see forest green and coral reefs
these memories i see them but they lack a certain potency
if it gets to deep it makes these dreams feel like reality
or somewhere in between
only thing i know for sure is i will never reach them
that i’ll never keep them
they are carved into my eyes so i cannot unsee them
sick and tired of believing i’ve lost faith
sick and tired of decieving i’m concieding to my demons
it is fate and i dont wanna try to change that
i think its time to face facts
only path i’ve known and the path that will be taken

- oggik lyrics

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