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omega mart - exceptional customers lyrics

here at omega mart, every customer’s special
but not all are equal, some are exceptional
the customer’s always right
but sometimes you’ll find
exceptional ones who seem out of their minds

exceptional customers find what they’re right for
but they don’t know quite where they are
but they’re in the right store
they know they want something, but what?
they’re not quite sure
give them advice
get them to buy more!

exceptional customers may feel confused
offer them constant attention and juice
and answer their questions with promptness and zest
they don’t know which product they want, tell them yes
they may have concerns
“i can’t find my t++th!”
or metaphysical questions
“who am i? am i me?”
when they’re lost help them look for who they want to be
but not in the mirror, they won’t like what they see

trying to find some better lettuce?
don’t be bothered by it
let us help you find it
as you slice the head of lettuce
that your head is in the salad
have some breadsticks
have some samples
have some extras
let us help you with your vegetables
we’re specialists, you’re helpless

uh oh, she’s lost the distinction again
between where her cart ends and her own arm begins
she’s alarmed to find then that her cart arm extends
down the whole aisle 10
smile, be a friend

here’s a lost shopper who’s probably not sure
of whether the soft serve he’s eating is god or
a demonic imposter, he’s screaming but not words
don’t let him feel bothered
offer him water
a trip to the grocery can be so engrossing
inspecting the produce, contemplating the growth of things
the aura of an orange emanating and glowing brings
engorge with its juices and glistening gorgeous leaves
when loitering courselessly, escort them resourcefully
cordial yet forceful, inform them there’s more to see
cornish hens, corn and peas
help them feel more at ease
melting in formless beings
try it with more cheese!

attention all shoppers
please remain calm if you think you’re seeing monsters
with monstrous savings on all our new offers
you’ll go insane for our awesome new products

some can’t stop laughing
some can’t stop crying
some lose track of how much they’re buying
and then some can’t decide what they want and what they don’t
put them both in the cart and assume they want both

- omega mart lyrics

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