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onlydekkihd - how i feel lyrics

intro:
i didn’t wanna make this song
but i had to embrace it
the topic right here is heavily debated
frowned upon, and i know i’ll be hated
but look

verse 1:
i gotta spit the f-cking truth
if i didn’t, then why am i in this f-cking booth
pouring my heart out on a page
that’s now so full of rage
that i sat in my room crying for days
wishing this pain would all go away
f-ck
i’m so depressed that i wanna go to sleep and never wake
all this pressure on my chest i can’t take
i’m hoping my ribs will fold in and break
k!lling me instantly
get me out of this misery
i put a hoe before myself and she burnt me
took everything i love away
she even took my company
yet i gotta sit here accepting handouts to eat
whilst she’s with her ex getting treated like a queen
i hope she goes through this pain and it breaks her f-cking spleen
all the promises she made what the f-ck do they mean?
now
now i’m sitting here tossing and turning with a tear rolling down my cheek
and people close by starting to worry, you see i haven’t been myself in weeks
b-tch i gave my f-cking all to you
theirs a kid that no-one knows about
but we both know he ain’t the father too
but you stabbed me in the back for some other dude
b-tch i would’ve k!lled for you
i was f-cking down for you
f-ck my squad
lost my best friend for you
f-ck this music sh-t
i p-ssed up on a deal for you
just for you to turn you back
and say you don’t love me anymore?
what about forever?
girl
what about forever?
what about i’m down for you babe you’re the only guy for me
now i can’t ever trust a hoe cos i see women as the enemy
said you wanted a family
tryna create a broken home for a child that isn’t even here yet
you just look at the bank balance and wonder if you could get any cheques
the second you see that he made more
you was out on your high horse
thinking your important
but let’s face it
you’re just another basic b-tch
wouldn’t even make a tea for “your man”
that’s not even half of it an
you go around saying i cheated
well i found it kinda funny
when i always wanted to see you
and you was the one running
can’t believe i wasted my life on this b-tch
god please
i’m begging you
let me learn to trust again
let me love again
but don’t make me this stupid again
i know time is a healer
that sh-t couldn’t be realer
right now i don’t know if i need a blade to wrists
or a drug dealer
can’t even treat my dad on what could be his last christmas
can’t get the man that’s the reason i’m alive the thing on top of his wish list
so when i end my life tonight
know it’s your fault b-tch
it’s dec

-gunshot-

- onlydekkihd lyrics

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