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original 2017 broadway revival cast of the hello, dolly! - penny in my pocket lyrics

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[horace, spoken]
i put a penny in my pocket

(sung)
and in a little time
that penny in my pocket
had grown into a dime
and in a little longer
a quarter jingled out

i put the quarter in the teapot
and i waited until the teapot had a dollar in the spout
i put the dollar in my mattress
and had some pleasant dreams
till’ suddenly my mattress was bursting at the seams

and that is how i acquired the wealth i now possess
that little penny was the secret
yes, that penny was the secret of my success!

i had a penny in my pocket
and not another suit
and with my only shirt tail
i shined a rich man’s shoe
he threw me down a nickel
admiring my sk!ll
i gave the nickel to a blind man
and then the blind-man left me all his meager savings in his will

i bought myself a wagon
for hauling blocks of ice
i cut the ice to ice cubes
and got a higher price
i shaved the ice to ices
for still a higher fee
a big tycoon said
“very enterprising and your organizing
son, you must come work for me!”

on route to work next morning
i helped a lady cross
the lady was, you guessed it, the mother of the boss!
the boss said “you’re promoted! i need you at my side”
and then i met the boss’s daughter
and i wed the boss’s daughter
and quite suddenly she died

i bought myself an acre, a silo, and a stead
all yonkers started buying
my grain that i made meed
and now i’ve half-a-million
but proudly i confess
that in my pocket is the penny
yes, that shiny little penny
it’s that penny that is the secret to my success!

- original 2017 broadway revival cast of the hello dolly lyrics

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