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original broadway cast of be more chill - be more chill - pt. 1 lyrics

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[the squip, spoken]
you see, human social activity is governed by rules. and i have the processing capacity to understand those rules. and p-ss them on to you

(sung)
c-c-c-c-c-cmon, jeremy, can’t you see?
your operating system is outdated
come on, boo, you know that you
make everyone around you nauseated
hey, i’ve arrived now, this is not a drill
bae, i’ve arrived, wow!
won’t be long until
you wi-i-i-i-i-i-ill
be more chill

[jeremy, faintly]
wow

[the squip]
take your hands out of your pockets
arch your back, puff out your chest
add some swagger to your gait or
you’ll look like a mas-tur-ba-tor
fix your posture, then the rest

[jeremy, spoken]
oh, but i am a masturbator

[the squip, spoken]
we’ll fix that

(sung)
all your nerdiness is ugly

[jeremy, spoken]
i thought i was more of a geek?

[the squip]
all your stammering’s a ch-r-

[jeremy, spoken]
wha-stammer- no, i don’t stammer, you know what i–

[the squip]
your tics and fidgets are persistent
and your charm is non-existent
fix your vibe, then fix some more

[the squip]
bu–

[jeremy]
ah-

[the squip]
buh

[jeremy]
oh-

[the squip]
no

[jeremy]
ah?

[the squip]
stop

[jeremy]
oh!

[the squip]
oh, everything about you is so terrible

[jeremy]
…terrible?

[the squip]
terrible!

[jeremy]
oh…

[the squip]
whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die

[jeremy]
(heavy breathing)

[the squip]
so don’t freak out
and don’t resist
and have no doubt
if i -ssist
you wi-i-i-i-i-i-ill
be more chill

(spoken)
now, the first thing you need to change is your shirt. buy that one!

[jeremy, spoken]
it says eminem…

[the squip, spoken]
if you’re so astute, what do you need me for?

[jeremy, spoken]
do people still listen to eminem?

[the squip, spoken]
irrelevant. my quantum structure enables me to envision possible futures. i envision a future in which you wear an eminem shirt and things turn out well

(sung)
oh, everything about you is so terrible

[people in the mall]
everything about you sucks!
everything about you sucks!

[the squip]
whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die

[people in the mall]
everything about you sucks!
everything about you sucks!

[the squip & people in the mall]
all the people in the mall

[the squip]
think you are such a slob

[people in the mall]
you’re a slob!
terrible!
such a slob!

[the squip & people in the mall]
and boy

[the squip]
can i see why!

(spoken)
now you, try picking a shirt
that’s a girl’s shirt

[chloe, spoken]
…jerry?

[jeremy, spoken]
jerry-me

[the squip, spoken]
greet the beta

[jeremy, spoken]
the be- oh. hi, brooke

[the squip, spoken]
“you look s-xy.”

[jeremy, spoken]
i can’t say that to a hot girl! aaah!

[the squip, spoken]
don’t smile. stare intensely. speak like you don’t care about your own death

[jeremy, spoken]
looking… pretty… s-xy, broo-ke!

[brooke, spoken]
thanks

[chloe, spoken]
is that a girl’s shirt?

[jeremy, spoken]
no

[the squip, spoken]
“yes.”

[jeremy, spoken]
yes

[the squip, spoken & jeremy, overlapping]
repeat after me:

(sung)
i saw it in the window
i saw it in the window
and i couldn’t dismiss
and i couldn’t dismiss
i was dating a girl
i was dating a girl
and she had a shirt just like this
and she had a shirt just like this, haha!

[the squip]
it’s still painful

[jeremy]
it’s still painful

[chloe, spoken]
so, who was this mystery girl?

[jeremy, spoken]
oh, you’ve probably never heard of-

[the squip]
madeline

[jeremy]
madeline

[chloe, spoken]
what?

[jeremy]
she’s french

[chloe, spoken]
she is not french! she just pretends to be for attention!

[brooke, spoken]
madeline broke up with you?

[jeremy, spoken]
yeah

[the squip, spoken]
no

[jeremy, spoken]
i mean–

[the squip]
i broke up with her

[jeremy]
i broke up with her!

[the squip]
’cause she was
cheating on me

[jeremy, overselling it]
she was
cheating on me-e-e-eeee!

[the squip]
hey, hamlet. be more chill

(spoken)
brooke is going to offer you a ride. it is imperative you accept

- original broadway cast of be more chill lyrics

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