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original broadway cast of come from away - screech in lyrics

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[claude]
now there’s a solemn, old tradition
for admission – or audition – to
transition from a come from away

[company]
to be a newfoundlander

[claude]
the only other way at any rate
is p-ss away and pray to fate and
wait to reincarnate

[company]
as a newfoundlander
hey, hey – come on inside
nothing ventured, nothing tried

[actor 5]
only a couple people cried

[company]
you’ll be a newfoundlander
hey, hey – sit down right here
you’ll feel better in a year

[actor 7]
try to ignore your doubts and fears

[company]
and you’ll be a newfoundlander

[claude, spoken]
now we needs a couple volunteers – who wants to become a newfoundlander?

[bob, spoken]
right here!

[claude, spoken]
good man! who else?

[kevin t, spoken]
i have no idea why i put up my hand. and kevin’s like

[kevin j, spoken]
oh my god, are you serious?

[kevin t, spoken]
yes – i’m serious. don’t do it if you don’t want to

[kevin j, spoken]
i won’t

[claude, spoken]
where you from, buddy?

[kevin t, spoken]
los angeles

[claude, spoken]
la! who else?

[diane spoken]
us!
we want to be newfoundlanders!

[claude, spoken]
alright. where are you folks from?

[diane, spoken]
texas and –

[claude, spoken]
texas! (to nick) what part of texas are you from, buddy?

[nick, spoken]
no, i’m from –

[diane, spoken]
no, i’m from texas. he’s from england

[claude, spoken]
wait. now how does that work?

[nick, spoken]
how does what work?

[claude, spoken]
well, how does your marriage work with you being in england and her in texas?

[diane & nick, spoken]
no – we’re not married

[claude, spoken]
oh, i’m sorry – i just -ssumed you were married… well, would you like to be?

[nick, spoken]
ah –

[diane, spoken]
well, why not?!

[nick, spoken]
diane had had two beers by then, so it was probably the alcohol talking

[diane, spoken]
i’ve never had more than one beer at a time before, so it was probably the alcohol talking

[nick, spoken]
i went and got her two more beers

[claude]
now the first part is the easiest
we’ll soon get to the queasiest
i’ll need you to repeat this mess

[company]
when you become a newfoundlander

[claude]
’cause we speaks a different language, son
we adds some esses and some rum
you’ll have to try a good cod tongue

[company]
when you become a newfoundlander
hey, hey – just do your best
nothing scary, nothing yet

[actor 3]
you’ll have to change the way you’re dressed

[company]
and you’ll be a newfoundlander
hey, hey – just sing along
nothing ventured just prolonged

[claude]
there’s thirty verses in this song

[company]
then you’ll be a newfoundlander

[claude, spoken]
ladies and gentlemen – this is screech! back in world war ii, an officer was stationed here and was offered some of this stuff
all the locals were tossing it back with nar’ a quiver, so he does too
and lets out an ear piercing…

(all of the newfoundlanders howl)

everybody comes to see what’s happening and says:

[company except screechees, spoken]
“what was that ungodly screech?!”

[claude, spoken]
and now it’s your turn. are you ready?

[nick spoken]
um… i’m not sure that –

[diane spoken]
wait – did you just say –

[bob, spoken]
no. nope. not really ready

[kevin t, spoken]
do we have to drink this?

[claude, spoken]
good! all together now. one!

[company except screechees, spoken]
one!

[claude, spoken]
two!

[company except screechees, spoken]
two!

[claude, spoken]
three!

[company except screechees, spoken]
three!

[claude, spoken]
down the hatch!

[kevin t spoken]
screech is basically bad jamaican rum

[nick, spoken]
screech is horrific

[diane, spoken]
screech is delishush!

[bob, spoken]
and then they brought the cod

[kevin t, spoken]
the cod

[nick, spoken]
the cod

[diane, spoken]
the cod

[claude]
now with every transformation
comes a tiny bit of risk
you’ve got to walk the plank
and there’ll be blood
or there’ll be bliss
and it’s the same to be a
newfoundlander
every person’s wish
so don’t be dumb
just take the plunge
go on – kiss the fish!

[newfoundlanders]
(continued underneath)
i’m an islander – i am an islander
i’m an islander – i am an islander…

[claude, spoken]
ladies and gentlemen – this is a genuine freshly caught newfoundland cod – and if you want to become an honorary newfoundlander, you’ll have to give her a smooch! one!

[kevin j, spoken]
if you kiss that i am never kissing you again!

[kevin t, spoken]
i’ll risk it!

[claude, spoken]
two!

[nick, spoken]
i’m not kissing a fish!

[diane, spoken]
come on, i will if you will!

[nick, spoken]
oh my god. fine

[claude, spoken]
three!

[diane, spoken]
i can’t do it!

[nick, spoken]
what? i just did!

[claude, spoken]
now you’ve got to kiss the cod – it’s a vital part of the ceremony

[diane, spoken]
i can’t do it!

[claude, spoken]
alright – look. i’ll make you a deal. either you kiss this fish – or else you kiss this englishman that you’re not married to

[company]
hey, hey – come on tonight
take a risk and take a ride
jump right in with both feet tied
and you’ll be a newfoundlander

hey, hey – come on once more
nothing ventured, nothing sore
after it’s over, out the door
and you’ll be a newfoundlander

[claude]
after it’s over you’ll remember

[company]
that you’re a newfoundlander

- original broadway cast of come from away lyrics

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