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original cast of gutenberg! the musical - words, words, words lyrics

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[doug, spoken]
act ii, scene 1
an old timey bar called the rusty german
the roof is made of dirty thatch
the floor is covered in peanut sh+lls

[bud, spoken]
gutenberg sits at the bar
he is drunk!

[doug (as johan gutenberg)]
i am drunk
i have been drinking wine and mead
and now my face is numb!
hey, drunk!

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
gah!

[doug (as johan gutenberg)]
i can’t learn ‘til you wait to read

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
do what?

[doug (as johan gutenberg)]
you’re so cute and so dumb

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
bah!

[doug (as johan gutenberg)]
and you smell like a piece of horse

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
hey, gutenberg’s drunk!

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
i am drunk!
for the last time!

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
oh no!

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
that’s right, drunk!
after tonight, old gutenberg’s not drinkin’ wine anymore!
i’m drinkin’ words!

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
ya can’t drink words!

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
not so fast there, drunk!

(singing)

words…
can take on any form or shape

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
bah ha! you’ve gone insane!

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
no!

(singing)

words…
are like wine from a better grape

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
huh?

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
the grape of your brain!

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
oh!

[doug (as johan gutenberg)]
words taste so sweet

[bud (as drunk #2)]
with ice, they’re just neat!

[both (as johan gutenberg and drunk #2)]
nothing can compete

[doug (as johan gutenberg)]
i’m gonna get drunk off of words
i’m gonna come home late
i’m gonna stink of words

[both (as johan gutenberg and drunk #2)]
wine is awfully fine
but really, wine is just a word
words, words, words

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
i’m gonna go get a drink!

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
see ya!

[doug (as drunk #1), spoken]
hey, what’s happenin’?

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
aye, gutenberg is talkin’ about gettin’ drunk…
off of words!

[doug (as drunk #1), spoken]
that sounds stupid!

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
it’s not!
words make ya feel all tingly inside!

[doug (as drunk #1), spoken]
but that’s what alcohol does!

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
yes, but words do it without that cripplin’ chemical addiction!

[doug (as drunk #1), spoken]
that’s the part i don’t like!

[bud (as drunk #2)]
well then pull up a seat

[doug (as drunk #1)]
this is a treat

[both (as drunk #1 and drunk #2)]
guess we should repeat

we’re gonna get drunk off of words

[bud (as drunk #2), spoken]
i’m gonna start a fight!

[doug (as drunk #1), spoken]
i’m gonna vomit words!

[both (as drunk #1 and drunk #2)]
wine is awfully fine
but really, wine is just a word
words, words, words

[bud, spoken]
helvetica enters

(as helvetica)

gutenberg

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
what?

[bud (as helvetica)]
i’ve got to say…

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
hey!

[bud (as helvetica)]
can i get a second chance?

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
i dunno what you’re talkin’ about

[bud (as helvetica)]
i’ve done something really awful!

[doug (as johan gutenberg)]
come on helvetica
let’s dance!

[bud, spoken]
gutenberg holds helvetica close

(as helvetica)

h+llo
i… i don’t understand

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
wine can make you do… crazy things
you’re fired!

[bud (as helvetica), spoken]
what?

[doug (as johan gutenberg), spoken]
i’m firing you as my grape stomper
but i wanna hire you… as my wife!

[bud (as helvetica), spoken]
oh gutenberg, i…
i can’t!
i’ve done something awful!

[doug, spoken]
helvetica leaves the bar in a tizzy

(as johan gutenberg)

where are you going?
where are you going?!

[bud, spoken]
dance break!

[doug, spoken]
the entire cast rushes onstage
and gutenberg is sucked into the madness

[bud, spoken]
some do wild leaps in the air!

[doug, spoken]
some do flips!

[bud, spoken]
some do somersaults!

[doug, spoken]
some do handstands!

[bud, spoken]
some chicken fight in the corner!

[doug, spoken]
while the old black narrator soars above it all!
the entire cast joins hands
to form a chorus line!

[both (as all)]
we’re gonna get drunk off of words
someone else should drive
because we’re drunk off words
wine is awfully fine
but really, wine is just a word
words!
words!
words!

- original cast of gutenberg the musical lyrics

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