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original cast of why am i so single - i got off the plane lyrics

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[ross+ – from ‘friends’]
did she get off the plane?
did she get off the plane?

[rachel+ – from ‘friends’]
i got off the plane!

[nancy, spoken]
i mean, this scene huge

[oliver, spoken]
god, yeah – this was like the soundtrack to my youth

[nancy, spoken]
watching it, i feel like i’m 14 again in my emo phase rocking my massive side fringe, do you know what i mean?

[oliver, spoken]
yeah dude, i totally dig what you’re saying

[nancy, spoken]
i mean sorry but it’s no wonder our love lives are so tragic cause i mean this is the kind of heteronormative cliché we grew up. like our rachel is finally moving on with her life and then her boring ex+boyfriend ross comes along and bam…

[oliver, spoken]
five seconds later

[nancy, spoken]
she’s leaving him a voice note like
[rachel+ – from ‘friends’]
i love you. what am i doing? i’ve got to get off this plane

[nancy, spoken]
and it all culminates in a big climatic moment where ross is like

[ross+ – from ‘friends’]
did she get off the plane?
did she get off the plane?

[nancy, spoken]
and after 10 years of ‘will they, won’t they,’ the happiest ending we could possibly fathom was rachel bursting in declaring

[rachel+ – from ‘friends’]
i got off the plane!
[nancy, spoken]
i mean seriously, it makes me want to say to the whole godd+mn era

[nancy]
nice one early noughties
thank you, cause you taught me
some man derailing your plans of flying to france
is the height of all romance

[oliver]
great job cause when the scene’s on
i recollect how each ‘friends’ season
there was just like there is just no way that a love story would be even slightly gay
[both]
we’ve seen the scene again and again and again and again
and it’s so dated
yeah it’s so braindead
and it’s so
yeah it’s so
oh it’s so

it’s so f+cking good
it makes me wanna die
it’s so f+cking good
i’m gouging out my eye
and then the other eye, yeah

when she left the flight
it broke me apart
so perfect and right
it tore out my heart
and f+cked up my brain

so f+ck you rachel… and ross
f+ck you both for saying
‘i got off the plane’

[nancy, spoken]
you know what it’s no wonder ross and rachel got into our heads… cause really ross and rachel were kind of everywhere in culture
[oliver, spoken]
go on…

[nancy, spoken]
well, if you think about it, it was basically rachel capulet choosing rossio over paris in fair verona

[rachel – from ‘friends’ imitating juliet from ‘romeo and juliet’]
rossio, rossio, wherefore art thou rossio?

[oliver, spoken]
oh and rachel winslet getting off a lifeboat to be with ross dicaprio

[rachel+ – from ‘friends’ imitating kate winslet in ‘titanic’]
paint me like one of your french rachel’s

[rachel+ – from ‘friends’ imitating from ‘notting hill’]
i’m just a rachel standing in front of a ross, asking him to love her

[ross+ – from ‘friends’]
you come to me on the day of my rachel’s wedding

[nancy, spoken]
whether it was ross the superhero, ross the tennis player, ross the animated sports car… it was always just that same story of ross getting his rachel reward in the end

[oliver, spoken]
which i’m sure did wonders for both our psyches

[nancy, spoken]
so…

[both]
here’s to our favourite pair
for being everywhere

[nancy, spoken]
on screen

[oliver, spoken]
on stage

[nancy, spoken]
each time

[both]
the same paradigm of a boy that gets the girl

[nancy]
thank god it was omnipresent

[oliver]
so we could absorb when prep+b+scent

[nancy]
‘i exist just to be won’

[oliver]
‘and i’ll find no one’

[both]
gee, thanks ross and rachel

[both]
we’ve seen the scene again and again and again and again
and it’s so retro
yeah it’s so hetero
and it’s so
yeah it’s so
oh it’s so

problematic, i actually can’t watch it again…
as if! no!

it’s so f+cking good
it tears me to bits
it’s so f+cking good
it gives me the blues
and then the sh+ts, yeah!

she comes back to ross
it fills me with rage
all pop culture was was rosses and rachels
rotting my brain

so f+ck you rachel… and also ross

[nancy]
cause all of that pain

[oliver]
started when you’re saying

[both]
‘i got off the plane’

f+ck you ross
f+ck you rachel
we’re f+cked up because of you
f+ck you, f+ck you, f+ck you, f+ck you
cause it’s your f+cking fault

[ross+ – from ‘friends’]
alright, alright, you know what, we’ve had enough of this

[rachel+ – from ‘friends’]
yeah, maybe we should just ‘take a break’…

[ross+ – from ‘friends’]
okay, look, we get it + the culture you grew up with wasn’t the most representative, it wasn’t the most empowering, and yes it affected you

[ross+ – from ‘friends’]
but like, you’re the ones choosing to watch this ancient tv show over and over again…

[rachel+ – from ‘friends’]
yeah, like there’s this other thing you could watch… what’s it called it again? i was recommended it the other day! oh yeah, literally anything else

[ross+ – from ‘friends’]
and more importantly, everyone else, you know, straight, queer… they all grew up watching the same cr+p as you and guess what? they’re all fine!

[rachel+ – from ‘friends’]
lots of them are even in relationships

[ross+ – from ‘friends’]
so maybe the problem isn’t that we f+cked you up for life

[ross & rachel+ – from ‘friends’]
maybe the problem… is you

[nancy]
it’s so f+cking true
of course the problem’s us

[ross – from ‘friends’]
no sh+t

[nancy]
f+ck, it’s f+cking true

[oliver]
it’s not rachel and… ross

[both]
we’re so f+cking f+cked
the truth is clear and plain
it’s our fault no one’s saying
‘i got off the plane’

- original cast of why am i so single lyrics

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