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original off broadway cast of penelope - we need a plan lyrics

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[telemachus, spoken]
but now that you’re here
there won’t be any need for a contest!

[odysseus, spoken]
there won’t?

[telemachus]
you and i can take care of these villains right now!

[odysseus]
right now?

[telemachus]
mhm!

[sung]
let’s go inside right now at once and k!ll them while we can

[odysseus]
you want me to go in?

{telemachus]
right now!

[odysseus]
no way, we need a plan!
[telemachus]
whyever would we need a plan?
there’s nothing simpler than
to run them through

[odysseus]
not what i’d do
i’ll tell you why
who likes to die?
we must be sly
so you and i should really have a plan

[telemachus]
i don’t understand
i thought you were brave

[odysseus]
you thought i was brave?
i’m not brave
the people who die first
are the brave
i’m more the type who’s cunning, and smart!

[telemachus]
then what do we do?
[odysseus]
i don’t have a clue
but it has to be sneaky for a start
you need the tactic of surprise
for all successful raids

[telemachus]
it’s twenty years
they think you’re dead
we have surprise in spades
if we go in there side by side we’ll slaughter every man!

[odysseus]
am i not clear?
i have no spear
no sword or bow

[telemachus]
no weapons?

[odysseus]
no
no weapons

[telemachus]
oh
i guess we need a plan
[odysseus]
how’s this for a plan?
i’ll pretend i’m the blind poet homer

[telemachus]
what?

[odysseus]
i’ll wear a cloak and i’ll stoop

[telemachus]
uhhh….

[odysseus]
homer’s always been a bit of a roamer
and people love to know the latest scoop

[telemachus]
aah+

[odysseus]
homer always keeps them in the loop!

then late at night, i’ll take out my lyre
and sing to them by the blazing fire
a song to suggest their plight is dire
they’ll retire to bed, feeling nervous and low
and when morning comes, time to string the bow
they’ll laugh when old homer has a go
they won’t believe their eyes by the time they realize
i’m odysseus in disguise!
they’ll all be dead!
how’s that for a surprise?

[telemachus]
that does sound like a clever plan!

[odysseus]
it should work like a dream
penelope can’t know it’s me, she might upset the scheme!
but if we’re faithful to the plan, then this i guarantee
these men will quail once we prevail
and none will live to tell the tale
two i will hang the rest impale
and if we fail

[telemachus]
wait! we could fail?

[odysseus]
sometimes you fail

[telemachus]
no! we can’t fail!

[odysseus]
you’re looking pale

[telemachus]
of course i’m pale!
what if we fail…

[odysseus]
…a small detail

[telemachus]
oh, god…

[odysseus]
don’t worry!
i’ll come up with plan b!

- original off broadway cast of penelope lyrics

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