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out of system transfer - (i don't remember it) that way lyrics

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it’s the funniest thing that happens to me
when you’re talking about old times
and your memories of the words and the deeds
are intolerably different from mine

things that i haven’t thought of in years
just come rushing back, leaving me stunned
it was ’99, right after columbine
what a terrible time to be young

and that’s all it takes and i’m right back here
it smells like sh-t and body spray and fear
it’s half a lifetime back behind me now, but it’s all still crystal clear

i remember sticking to the darkest of corners
vaguely certain that exposure was death
and you remember waiting with open arms
wondering when i was gonna come up for breath

you thought all you needed to do was be patient
i thought all i had to do was be strong
there were times when the double life really was
twice as nice, don’t get me wrong

lovers introduced as friends appeared and disappeared
people come and go so quickly here
nursed my wounds in secret like a gangster, and went on for 3 more years

and i’m not holding grudges
i’m not saying that i think about it every day

things are really so much better
it gets hard to imagine that i ever really lived that way

but when you brought it up the other day
it’s like the years just melt away
and there’s nothing i can do but say
“i don’t remember it that way”

i remember long days looking over my shoulder
longer evenings trying hard to forget
you remember bland -ssurances from over the table
wonderin if that’s all you were gonna get

you remember shrugging when you’d try to reach over
and i’d push back with unnatural force
but the rubber disguise and the lies upon lies
i just took it as a matter of course

do you remember getting called down to the office?
when the nurse had found me bleeding from my ear
i sat you down and told you everything, that i thought you’d want to hear

yeah, when you brought it up the other day
it’s like the years just melt away
and there’s nothing i can do but say
“i don’t remember it that way”

- out of system transfer lyrics

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