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pacifist - ad nauseam lyrics

every single time it comes back to me
makes me want to retch & hurl
i cough up my insides out + and clutch my pearls
not sure if i want to forget
or if i should remember
are these the demons that haunt me
or just apparitions…
of things i barely recollect

vacant stares so cold
try to + read you + i can’t + see you
chasing to numb the pain
a pain that stays
a pain that will remain

my face + betrays my state
a deep & cold discomfort
cold sweat
the deeper this gets
the rush of crossing lines
and yet another time i tell myself
it doеsn’t hurt
it gets better from hеre
take another round
and another and another and another
endless night after night
no end in sight
a long look in the mirror
try to read you + i can’t hear you
can’t seem to catch a break
this stuff just takes
turns into an escape
numbness at a price
screaming squirming + bloodshot burning!
cursing this life of pain
it radiates
this pain nauseates

the self. the hate
the myth that you create
the lies. escape
repeat. self+medicate
the strength. to break
the chains to which we’re slaves
pick off the scabs on wounds
a life misunderstood

and we’re back in the same place as before
can’t make the same old mistakes again, anymore
and we’re back in the same place
once more
it’s just the same old mistakes
till the end of the road

- pacifist lyrics

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