paran - decisions lyrics
[verse 1]
i don’t give a f-ck bout what you talking about
i just don’t wanna hurt n-body so usually i don’t say it out loud
but i think i don’t even notice who i really hurt, caught in this cloud
i’m ignoring the most important people in my life
cause i’m too selfish, i wish i could act like everybody else
but i’m too selfish, i try to cherish the moment
my time on earth is limited, but it seems like i don’t comprehend
instead i pretend to be a friend, spendet all my time
with self defence. this wasn’t what i had intended at all
can’t n-body stop my fall, my back’s against the wall
but i ain’t doing sh-t against it. all i do is scrawl it
in my circle i feel like i’m the only one who’s not immature
that’s why, when it comes to talkin’ bout dreams, i’m feelin’ insecure
i feel similar to a f-cking prisoner, but that’s never
what reaches the listeners, and my worst fear is, that one day
anyone i love, sees me how i see myself, they delve into my life
more than i do, but how they think they know my life, n-body knows what, i’m actually
going through, got some f-cking worries like is what i do right
i don’t spend time outside the bas-m-nt anymore
cause, all i do is write, it can be right. i don’t know
don’t misunderstand now, the most i do is fun though
i just don’t know, the right or wrong way to go, f-ck it
yo imma let my soul glow, what if i only have one shot
and i f-ck it up
[verse 2]
yeah i was always labeled the shy kid no one wanted to hang out with
now i feel like i didn’t chose the right friends, cause now
they tell me sh-t like they slittin’ they’re wrist and attempted to k!ll themselves, f-ck
i started cussing at everybody like shut the f-ck up, i’m p-ssed
sometimes i question if anybody wants me to even exist
i think i missed something, like a plot twist
cause now everybody somehow likes me and act like
yo let’s be friends, after n-body liked me
cause i ain’t going with their trends, but i can’t even trust em, i mean
what if they just pretend and i end up being lonely
d-mn so much sh-t has pent-up, just cause of a few phonies
then there’s people who start making promises, but can i trust em?
i wanna keep my dignity, i don’t share no affinities with n-body
but that’s the problem, ain’t if funny? im not sorry
that i don’t copy everything and everybody i see
n-body’s got back yo, i can’t hardly even breathe
but the important tho strange thing is, i still believe
the gift was given to me, i’m on a mission with a vision
but i’m a coward, i’m too anxious to make these f-cking decisions
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