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paran - letter lyrics

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[verse 1]
intro: this is not supposed to hurt you

dear mom, lately i’m fighting with myself but f-ck wealth
f-ck my health minding my business my mind’s on the mic
psyched out, i can’t deal with you telling me, you want to k!ll yourself
you crying, no f-ck stop you f-cking important to me

i ain’t even lying, i went away shut up like a clam
i just did because you choose him, this dude acting worse than a grim
still to this day i don’t know understand why him
he committed the worst scams he punch until you couldn’t stand

you tell everybody you love him but i don’t buy this
leave him but that’s too much of a demand where have you been
you slowly disband, an abusive guy is not a real man
sh-t after this i could possibly be on a lam

[hook]
right now i am not sorry, listen carefully
listen this is just a letter
don’t ask me about this
it ain’t gon’ get better

[verse 2]
intro: yeah thanks for saving me! you saved my f-ckin’ life

i wanna thank my aunt, i wish you could listen to this but you can’t
i’m scared you’d hate me if you’d know, i’m doing this rap, don’t get me wrong
this sh-t wasn’t planned, but i was drowning and somehow stranded
on this land, when i didn’t know where to go, at your house, i was allowed to stay

when someone really needed money, you was there to pay
i was not used to someone helping me, so i thought you’d just play
but you was really like checking me, asking if i feel ok
i say yes, but i’m the night, i lye and cry and pray

my life was black and you sprayed it gray
not really white,but enough for a thank you to say
since you was there to help me, i knew i could always trust you
sad is, you’re the only one, i really respect you!

[hook]
right now i am not sorry, listen carefully
listen this is just a letter
don’t ask me about this
it ain’t gon’ get better

[verse 3]
intro: with this i wanna let you know how much i hate you!

look, now michele please listen closely i’m tryin’ to explain it to you slowly
when i first got to know you, you was some kind of role model
i even looked up to you, but i swear man because of you
i been to h-ll and back, you’re a man beating up his woman

and you want respect? no, for you i lost all respect
couldn’t even stop beating up a child’s mom, after it begged
you never gave a f-ck how it affected us, you minded, your own business
never cared how we feel, don’t try to, make me think this ain’t real

i’m tryna deal with this, and don’t care anymore
how you feel. f-ck man, lately you’re drinking way too much
you become an drug addict and alcoholic, i don’t want us to stay in touch
for some time i tucked, until you found me, f-ck!

[hook]
right now i am not sorry, listen carefully
listen this is just a letter
don’t ask me about this
it ain’t gon’ get better

[verse 4]
intro: lets keep going yo this is your death penalty

dear -sshole you think it’s funny calling a women a sl-t and spitting at her
forgot you have a son who never meets his father
with you life is harder, everyone notice you ain’t ain’t the proper
get the f-ck outta my life, i suffered enough though

the bruises are covered but i’m tough, you always too ff-cking ruff
puff another one, drink the 10th beer sh-t, beat another innocent person up
i’m writing about this since i first saw you hitting her
you looked at me and promised never ever again

f-ck you should think twice, before making promises
she has always claimed, that together you both feel marvelous
the consequences and my trauma, are you’re fault and f-cking ominous
please stop now, can’t you see what you’ve done?, she’s losing her consciousness!

[hook]
right now i am not sorry, listen carefully
listen this is just a letter
don’t ask me about this
it ain’t gon’ get better

[verse 5]
intro: i know i’m not perfect, but i don’t give a f-ck

this is dedicated to everybody yeah i’m sorry for everything what happened
i’m sorry if i saddened you, but my soul is blackened yo
when i left you thought i abandoned you but i abandoned him
and i’m sorry to everyone who had to indulge my every whim

but f-ck lately i feel like i got an evil twin
i need to take my time, to find that piece of mind
i know i’m a burden but i’m in a bit of a bind
i’m ashamed to ask for help cause i already did several times

but i can’t find the way on my own, maybe one day, it will be too late
when y’all pick up the phone, i don’t blame you
cause before, these feeling have never been shown, well that’s what y’all think
i told you i don’t feel good, feels like i sink

i need to rethink all my decisions
let me go my own way, i don’t need no f-cking descriptions
on my mission my regrets are steady following me
i think i’m steered, my ability to breath disappears!

[hook]
right now i am not sorry, listen carefully
listen this is just a letter
don’t ask me about this
it ain’t gon’ get better

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