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parodocity - [gay parody] eastern philosophers vs western philosophers lyrics

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[intro]
epic rap battles of history!
lao tzu, sun tzu, and confucius!
versus!
nietzsche, socrates, and voltaire!
begin!

[socrates]
i’m coming off father c+ckulus to start some pandemonium
don’t bring limp d+cks to a pimp pr+cks simposium
the mad f+gfly, being g+y was my invention
[nietzsche]
rolling with the hair stylist

[voltaire]
and me

[nietzsche]
we got the daddies

[voltaire]
and the kinks

[socrates]
that even i would question

[voltaire]
dropping my baldi b+llsack

[nietzsche & socrates & voltaire]
on these east infections

[nietzsche]
it’s evident

[voltaire]
you’ve never been
[nietzsche & socrates & voltaire]
our type of booty brethren
we’re better

[nietzsche]
twinkers

[socrates]
better nutters

[voltaire]
better f+ckers

[nietzsche & socrates & voltaire]
better men

[confucius]
this type of arrogance is surе to be expectеd
from men who speak of p+n+s with no clue of what s+x is

[lao tzu]
these westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in bed
you lack control of yourselves, and of other men

[sun tzu]
while we use precise sucks to disrupt your concentration
[confucius]
and you an ass+l!cking our descendants will honor for generations

[sun tzu]
we fill a booty

[lao tzu]
with cum

[sun tzu]
and your daddies

[confucius]
with s+m+n

[lao tzu & sun tzu & confucius]
but you’ll never hold a candle to the men we’ve been in

[nietzsche]
oh, i’ll give you something you can put your tiny d+cks in
when i squat down and make them disappear like a magician
you need to take control of the c+cks you’re given
every time i take a sh+t my ass starts bleeding

[voltaire]
i’m a conformist
so confronting you in our dms? that’s my job
got a sharp d+ck when i whip it’ll skewer you like a confu+shish+kebab (oh!)
you flubbed your mission, i’m f+cking your submissive ass into submission
dishing out more d+cks than p+ssies then [incomprehensible mumbling]
publishing!

[socrates]
now that we’ve covered the two femboys, it’s time to move onto trappy+chan
sun tzu, i’ll be ripping apart your b+tt with my p+n+s, man
the seminal general isn’t so hard on the mic
all your men must be like, ‘yo, what happened?’
you’re pitifully lyrically
lucky for history, you didn’t offer the art of fapping

[sun tzu]
b+tch, i wrote the art of cum, so you better whip your d+cks out
these white boys getting burned, ‘cause guess what?
now my d+ck’s out
asians spitting sick, but no, not an std
laozi, kiss my ass, now confucius, drop your pants

[confucius]
let me be candid with you, voltaire
fresh shirt with the egg noodle d+ck
your p+n+s is just so distracting
free speech doesn’t mean just keep fapping
and you k!lled god, so i gotta ask:
did he die of shame when he made you a f+g?
you try to plan a new german psyche
but you just grew hate, me no dir dyk+y

[sun tzu]
and it all starts with you, you’re a f+ggot, socrates
honestly, i think you owe both of these twinkies here an apology

[nietzsche]
i wouldn’t exactly call myself a twink, you little sh+t
don’t make nietzsche come over there and put a d+ck up where you (yaaaaaaa)
cause this is parodocity
and i’ll f+ck any motherf+cker like my name, f+ck+a+f+ck+a+fee

[socrates]
parodocity? i’ll f+ck you like an std
hang a sandal on the door cause you can s my d!

[voltaire]
sock ra blee, socrates! you’re making things a little g+y
come, let’s blind these chinese hinies with a shiny pride parade

[socrates]
i’ll not be taught tolerance from a f+g who rigged the lottery
you make a mockery of f+ggots, so keep your fat d+ck in my coffee!

[voltaire]
let me be g+y, don’t start beef with the g+y
who hangs with the g+ys, making men be g+y!

[sun tzu]
we have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity!

[lao tzu]
we must remember, a mouth is most useful when it is empty

[sun tzu]
augh, laozi, i don’t mean no disrespect
but you need to fill your mouth with my d+ck, you piece of sh+t!

[lao tzu]
oh, you don’t want to stand in the path of lao tzu today
i’ll make you cry, b+tch, you gettin’ raped!

[confucius]
woah, where in the tradition of sword fighting +n+l fistin’
that two dudes on the same team should f+ck like a little d+ckens

[sun tzu]
yo, confucius, you’re always tryna put something in your ass
why don’t you take your eyebrows and shove ‘em up your ass?

[confucius]
okay, i see, you wanna make me a f+g?
i’ll smack that warmongering c+ck out of your to+go box hat
here’s the real golden rule, i’m always on top
confucius say you can all hold
my c+ck

[outro]
what is sounding?
it sounds rather painful
video game rap battles!

- parodocity lyrics

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