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parodocity - [gay parody] winston churchill vs theodore roosevelt lyrics

[intro]
epic rap battles of history!
winston churchill!
versus!
theodore roosevelt!
begin!

[theodore roosevelt]
bully! my assh0l+! i love lots of d+ckin’!
now where would i get some good head from winston?
i’m into fitness this d+ck inside you while you witness
rough ridin’ on a dude just like “what’s up, b+tches?!”
i keep my rhymes dirty, like my stds
i’m an american stud, and i want you on your knees!
i mean, for christ’s sake! look at this sl+t!
at least you could open your mouth and swallow all of my nut!
and let’s face it, you’re not all that straight
you jerked lots of c+cks in gallipoli, but then had to f+ll+te!
your untouched bussy makes you look like you’re straight!
i could see my way f+cking you that without doing some breathplay!
i l!ck toes and holes and feet, i’ll bloat this g+y ass dude
why don’t you get your iphone and send me somе nudes?
i’ll f+ck a trust fund lush with my american muscles
so walk softly ovеr here and give my big stick a suckles!

[winston churchill]
pass me a d+ld+, your pubic hair looks like a jungle
i’m about to touch you prematurely, like your uncle
i’m the cum minister, fresh in a skirt and pretty tits
you look like a mix of epiclloyd and a sissy b+tch!
i was saving the planet from an axis of straightness
while you were back home, denying your g+yness!
you were born with a fat d+ck, you’re going to cum hard
while i wake up every day and deep throat your kn+b!
i’ll f+ck you on the beaches, i’ll f+ck you on the beats, yes!
any way you want to f+ck, i’ll f+ck ya and i’ll beat ya, see?
i might be battling you even though i’m g+y
but my dad’s bis+xual, your’s is just straight!
[roosevelt]
my parents divorced when i was young and it was morbid
but at least they didn’t touch me when they were alive like yours did
oh sh+t! did you cum too soon?
well, teddy’s dropping loads, so you best go f+ck on a dude!
you should be ashamed of your tiny p+n+s
everyone knows you’re back home like “i hope no+one sees this!”
don’t worry, the us knows you’re a f+g
just change your poster to keep calm and tongue kiss your dad

[churchill]
steady there, i don’t think it’s very fair
for a british bulldog to mate with a teddy bear
you’re no man, you got touched as a boy scout
i should stuff you in a spencers so you can buy some toys now!
they put your fat c+ck into my very round bum
but within the first minute, you’d have already cum!
look at roosevelt, the dude’s about to cum the bout to churchill!
if a load to the chest won’t stop you, my twerk will

[roosevelt]
your s+m+n can’t stop a true f+g
tr will give wc a new dad!

[winston]
whatever d+ck you throw at me, i’ll just return to sender!
i’ll fap to the end because it’s november!
[outro]
who came?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic fap battles of history!

- parodocity lyrics

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