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paul.itics - letters to abba lyrics

dear god
i’ve tried to silence my thoughts
but they keep writing these letters
the words inside me are too
heavy to carry anymore
so i’m sending them to you
casting my burdens
to your ears + through words
because sometimes words are the only way
to let you know i’m here

these letters are inked with tears
from nights spent wrestling with fears
from moments i even doubtеd you were near
but still.., i writе
asking
hoping
yearning to understand the plans you have for me:
the ones meant to prosper
and for how long i have endure
the ones that hurt me?

sometimes i even wonder
if i could map the distance between you & i
would it measured in my doubts or my faith?
as you can see i am full of contradictions
a soul that longs for peace but fears it
a heart that wants to trust but doubts
a mind that chases answers
but lets logic take preeminence over the divine
and yet, here i am+pouring these letters out
hoping that in the mess of my thoughts
you’ll find me

god, these letters:
they’re not just words
they’re prayers in disguise
they’re my heart laid bare
every letter
every line
compiled by hurt, and enveloped
with the bit of hope i have left to muster

abba, sometimes i wonder
if you ever get tired
of my constant need for reassurance
i wonder if you’ve grown impatient
with my endless asking
my constant searching
but then, i remember that
you are love
and love does not grow weary
of being asked to show up again and again
i’m learning
that sometimes
the answers are in the questions
and the questions
are all you’ve ever needed me to ask

so, i send these letters
not for answers
but for you to know
that in the ink, in the waiting
i trust that you will show
your love, your mercy
your guidance
that you’re with me through it all

because even when the page is blank
i believe you still hear me call

- paul itics lyrics

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