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paul salad - influenza lyrics

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i have so many money
and oh so good so cars
they drive
and so does my bike
yeah, i ride to work
yeah global warming
it’s a crash, a car
it’s a global warning

influenza
i don’t have it
that’s a disease for nerds
influenza? more like
in your mum

but if we keep up global warming
then we’ll all have it
you would get bullied at school
and that would make you sad
they’ll be like: “hey dweeb!”
“give us your lunch money”
and you’ll be like: “no thanks”
and then they’ll beat you up

you’re driven to the icu
for your leg injury
blood is pouring everywherе
you’re at risk of leprosy
your health insurancе won’t take care
of the expenses
specifically those incurred via xray
because they just didn’t wanna pay
so you went to go
beat up the ceo
go give him a piece of your mind;
when you discover that he died
that really shouldn’t be a surprise

so you decide
to bomb his grave
but that’s actually a crime
you get arrested the next day
sentenced to prison for life

so you go through ye olde
johnson suisse
which ultimately
leads to your safety
you enter through the sewage pipe
you take a left and then a right
you’re free, you’re free to go
until you get caught tomorrow

it’s all thanks to johnson suisse
the world’s best toilet company
but you forget about your health issues
and then you die of leprosy

- paul salad lyrics

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