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phineas and ferb - i really don't hate christmas lyrics

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you see valentines is torture
and my birthday is a mess!
new year’s is a lot of noise
and arbor day’s a pest!
halloween’s a horror,
but i guess i must confess
that i really don’t hate christmas!

you see flag day is infernal.
april fool’s is just a bore.
mardi gras a waste
unless you own a candy store.
all these other holidays
i can admit that i abhor,
but i really don’t hate christmas.

now it isn’t that i like it,
at the most i feel ambivalence!
but should i really just destroy it?
i’ll admit that i’m still on the fence.
it makes me tense!

from the evil scientist community
i’m sure to get ejected.
but for christmas i can seem to summon
any true invective.
because what is there to hate?
i mean it’s really so subjective!
though i really don’t hate christmas.

i hate puppy dogs and kittens,
i hate flowers in the spring!
i even hate the sunshine
and the birdies when they sing.
i can work up animosity for almost anything
tell me why i don’t hate christmas.

though my childhood was atrocious,
christmas never was that bad, you see!
so the best that i can muster
is complete and total apathy.
what’s wrong with me?

how can i prove that i’m
an evil villain worth his salt
when with a holiday so jolly
i can’t even find a fault?
if i didn’t feel ambiguous
i’d launch a big -ssault!
but i really don’t hate christmas!

… ah what the heck? kick line!

no i really…
no i really don’t hate christmas!

i have an intense burning indifference!

- phineas and ferb lyrics

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