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pillowinde - prettier now lyrics

i open up with
i′m scared of everything and i feel like i’m going nowhere
then you tell me that i′m young and things will sort themselves out
but i’m scared that nothing will change
because i know i’ve heard it all before and i′ve been through all the motions
so i walk out of the room and pace for a bit
i think of everything that led me here
going back to halloween a few years ago
i was a totally different person, oh but not really
just dormantly wasting away my best years
not doing what i wanted at all
had to go to the bottom somewhere in hoboken
after a night of convincing myself i was the devil
chained up in a malfunctioning brain
you know i pushed myself down in the mud
to figure out that i already am
what i already was
i already am what i already was

you′re just scared of accepting the truth
and you don’t know where to begin, so you′re puking it all
you’ll read up on anything about yourself
instead of looking in the mirror and seeing the wall
you′d rather diagnosis yourself away from living
until you hit your breaking point you know that you gotta fake it all
until you get there yourself, you need to trick yourself by closing yours eyes just like

how ill tell myself that i’m prettier now
how ill tell myself that i′m prettier now

one night i stayed up with mabel talking about just about anything at all
but sometimes i get carried away at 5am i forget how to control myself
when i told her about the lack of free will
i heard it from ziszek, quite the silly man
but the sniffly sniffly man just knows its all gonna go
in a circle, and nothing changes

so i’ll tell myself that i’m prettier now
so i′ll tell myself that i′m prettier now
so i’ll tell myself that i′m prettier now

- pillowinde lyrics

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