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pinkqueb1983 - and i don't know how to change it. lyrics

the world forgetting by the world forgot

you know, ever since we were little
i would get this feeling like…
like i’m floating outside of my body
looking down at myself…
and i hate what i see…
how i’m acting, the way i sound
and i don’t know how to change it

…and i just ended up and sitting down and writing it one day. and it was perfect too ‘cause it was the very end of this notebook
and so there was something that i was like… i tried to+ i think+ give myself that sense of closure. uhm

so… i guess…
context to the like, the first day, like. like anything somewhat… romantic happened between us, its was+ there was a thunder storm… going on. and it was just like+ we were just sitting there like. just watching it. like…
[laughs]
no, it was+ i was very+ yeah, like, we were just sitting there on his porch or like, like. or inside. and just like, watching the thunder storm come in
and yeah, so that was+ yeah, so like…
so yeah, giving that context, uhm

you were a summer thunderstorm on my draught of golden sunshine days
your rain and light show made me dance in ways i never had before+ and oh how glorious it was
but it wasn’t until you left and i looked up, the fire was burning at my wildflowers, that i understood that you were not the right storm for me
although

and then i was like, “oh but maybe it says this,” so i put a half of a parentheses here, expecting me to like… finish it off and be like. “oh, i could write+ replace this instead of this ‘cause this is like how my brain edits as i’m writing. but i never closed this parentheses and kind of went from here
so this is like. this is why i’m explaining why it doesn’t make sense
your rain did not quench my thirst, but oh, how i danced
swaying and leaping in new ways i never thought possible
drenched, and with my eyes and arms turns toward+ turned toward the sky
i begged for more of the light show and beat+ and, and bone+ haking beat that were distracting me from the fire scorching my already parched wildflowers
it wasn’t until you left, with me chasing after you, that i finally looked around and felt the depth of your destruction
and there i sat, soaked to the bone, in a smoldering field of wildflowers, trying to water the earth and bring them back to life with my tears that were locked somewhere deep within me
as my wildflowers started to wilt, i looked around again and i realized that i was utterly alone
so i took my flowers in my arms
but as i+ but as i touched them, they crumpled and turned brown, disappearing the more i tried to hold onto them
desperation, i finally plucked them, roots and all from the earth
i could no longer hold them

…and i just ended up and sitting down and writing it one day. and it was perfect too ‘cause it was the very end of this notebook. and so there was something that i was like… i tried to+ i think+ give myself that sense of closure…

- pinkqueb1983 lyrics

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