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pinky swear - skim lyrics

these lines never meant more to me than when i admit the heart that was put into them
sometimes i pretend that i don’t have a heart
sometimes i tell myself that i truly hate someone or something
but when the time comes, it takes all of me not to breakdown
more often than not though the stream of words are flowing without any evidence of the sun
trapped inside the shade that we personally think will protect us. well, when my hand was in yours the sun shined brighter than ever. confidence was baked onto my skin
not a doubt floated through my head and i was sure that soon enough that feeling would be dead
god…was i right

tricking myself into thinking that it never meant a thing
fooling myself into wanting nothing to do with you
deceiving myself into regrets of you
but every now and then a sliver of thought seeps in and i’m once again cast into a cycle of wicked thought on the ways that i never was really good at much
the thing that i was good at was thinking about things that i weren’t good at

ironic?
you poured irony from your pores the day you said you loved me. when the dust settles in my mind…everything is gone
what’s there to do now
so i rest
but it’s not really resting when all you do in that time is worry and become increasingly self conscious about the same thing and at the same time you aren’t smiling anymore
the frown that you were born with will fade
the line of your lips became straight when you said you loved me those last few weeks we were together
i went and messed things up again
but it is no different than any other time for me

my mouth will curse you and will not cease until i know that you are dead on the inside
but that won’t happen
you knew what was coming and you built your walls up
time and time again i just proved myself wrong
i tell myself i am a good person
but that never seemed to down me
in fact i believed myself and went with that for a moment
but eventually i grew out of that

i had ideals that were great ideas on how to prove to myself and others that i was good
but, sticks and stones tore that foundation down and the words you said got to me

where were you, you coward who left me out in the sun for my heart to shrink and shrivel?
i held you time and time again while you were in hysterics
but i know you
and you will do nothing but skim this
you will take a longer time skimming this than you would actually taking the time to understand the p-ssion and heart that i have cut out of my chest and wrung it out into these words

but there’s no going back now
you are gone and you are happy and you are sad and you are dead on the inside and you can do nothing but sulk and you will find another love and you will say the same things and you are in my head and i can’t get you out

- pinky swear lyrics

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