pistol star - ten years lyrics
ten years ago you started cutting me up
ten years ago you made me forget what it was like having fun
oh i’d already spilled my share of blood in the past
but you gave me scars in places i can’t cover up
ten years ago i started praying in your cult
singing prayers that say that i’m a failure
ten years ago you made me question my own self worth
today you asked me to forgive you
today you said you’d been an idiot
and i could smile and i could wave it away
i could say i was okay when i wasn’t
but the truth is i prayed to every god i knew
hoping i would get some closure and there wasn’t
and if you ask me not to hate you
and i know loving is a virtue
then i’d rather not feeling anything anymore
and that’s an issue
you made me a hero when you gave me post traumatic stress disorder
but i cannot forgive someone who’d only stop hurting somebody i wasn’t
ten years ago i thought life had a scheme
something written on tea leaves
some kind of destiny
ten years ago you created the monster in my head
who’ll go down with me
you only cheer to therapy
’cause the drinks are on me
ten years ago i was afraid of the devil
before you taught me that the devil was me
and now the lights are always on
and the tea is always warm
but my mind is a murder scene
and i could smile and i could wave it away
i could say i was okay when i wasn’t
but the truth is i prayed to every god i knew
hoping i would get some closure and there wasn’t
and if you ask me not to hate you
and i know loving is a virtue
then i’d rather not feeling anything anymore
and that’s an issue
you made me a hero when you gave me post traumatic stress disorder
but i cannot forgive someone who’d only stop hurting somebody i wasn’t
don’t make me bleed again
i’m not sure who i’ll turn out to be this time
i already gave you everything including my own mind
and when i talk through you i can’t tell if you make me lie
and i guess they’re really confused ’cause i look scared all the time
but what i’m scared of is that i’m the scary guy
and i could smile and i could wave it away
i could say i was okay when i wasn’t
but the truth is i prayed to every god i knew
hoping i would get some closure and there wasn’t
and if you ask me not to hate you
and i know loving is a virtue
then i’d rather not feeling anything anymore
and that’s an issue
you made me a hero when you gave me post traumatic stress disorder
but i cannot forgive someone who’d only stop hurting somebody i wasn’t
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