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pitch - am i? lyrics

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am i? lyrics
{chorus: melsje}
am i double sided like the mirror my mother gave to me?
am i selfless or narcissistic, or am i somewhere in between?

{verse 1: pitch}
wanna know when i write?
when it’s late at night when the demons rise
when the sun begins to rise and
illuminating the horizon
tears in my eyes like i’m poseidon
tear out pages i’m rewriting
never be good enough you can keep trying
you can fight but you’ll nеver be like thеm

they all acting like criminals, b+tch ya still on provisionals
pitch’ll fill em with lyrical bullet holes
yeah
i’m a mystical cynical spitting clinical chemicals
a wizard with a ballistic vest on

when i throw that axe of leviathan
the f+cker begins swinging back returning in time
i need to react has kinda been taken i’m
taken aback by the fact that i’m intact still

when i grab that axe like satch, electric
i’m that affected, attack the record
i need the respect and a decent pay+check rip it and shred it
ill never get it..

i lose my mind
every time i scream
i yell and shout and i might just seem
like a whining b+tch on an mp3
but i’m still just me

p i t + add c then h a
thought within my mind
becomes darker when it’s written on paper
i will reveal my true nature
or maybe i’m on a stage a fake arrangement
an actor with ideals within my brain
that i feel i must maintain
i know i will never be in the league of greats

{bridge}
am i dreaming, is this the real me?
or am i hiding
behind the fake face of who i want to be

the happiest mask, conjuring ghosts
pouring out the dvd hole while the tv splatters static and smoke x 2

{chorus: melsje, pitch}
am i double sided
like the mirror my mother gave to me
and i selfless or narcissistic or
am i somewhere in between

i don’t know. who i am
but i know who the f+ck i want
to be

so sit there decaying and patiently waiting
for me to take reign of this beat

{verse 2: pitch, melsje}
i always knew
my mind was twisted but didn’t know
im cursed to never get better
im forever cursed to
make bad decisions

i tried to write songs when i was younger but
struggled to come up with something
that wasn’t subpar
i struggled to not
compare
myself to the ones up there
the legends up in the air
the ones above the atmosphere yeah
i guess that’s where i’m at
jobless
and outta steam ,self esteem
is a dream
that never could have been
and well

i do it on my own
like a gem i’m independent

i record my sh+t at home no studio
i’m on the record

i’m so tired

most the time
up in my head
on the fence
tend to deflect
out of respect
to share whats up
inside my mind

“get out of my head”

od on codeine to travel the styx
puncture the boat just to sink with the ship
purgatorial habit got me stuck in the mix

the problem is
my mind is filled with lies
that are told from the stars
a part of me always knew
the gods sabotaged
me from the start
some present self worth
like pieces of art
i sold my soul for a guitar
wouldn’t go back
even if doc brown
had sold me his car

i always envisioned my self in 20 years
with a six pack

of beer sitting in a beach shack
singing fleet+mac
with a lack of substance
substantial amount of tangible
in my hand

{end}

i didn’t really mean to waste your time

- pitch lyrics

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