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polearm - djpolearmnightcoremix3 lyrics

[intro]
the album is over, this is djpolearmnightcoremix number 3

[song 1: mutations]
enamored by some petty things and i learned
it’s not naturally created, knowing that hurts
praying that my back won’t break, my ankles were first
hoping that i’ll make it but it’s been the reverse

lacking inspiration
i can’t take a break, need more creations
going through some changes, maybe mutations
things that you’re not fixing with some conversations

i’m gonna take it back, ’cause it’s mine
you don’t have to believe me, believe in mе, it’s fine
i’ve been so obsessеd with my self+innovation
the kind of mine is born once in a generation

i’m gonna take it back, ’cause it’s mine
you don’t have to believe me, believe in me, it’s fine
disappeared and faced the one inside the mirror
i tried to wipe it off but wasn’t seeing clearer

i knew the truth the whole time, wanted you to say i’m right
always lost in the back of my own mind every time i close my eyes
no way to soothe my aching bones, i’ve been working my whole life
nothing stagnant, only want changes, i pray every day and night
i can’t breathe, but you’re what i need
you’ve got no empathy
tell me how to leave this lifetime of greed
you’re tryna climb but you’re not planting the tree

enamored by some petty things and i learned
it’s not naturally created, knowing that hurts
praying that my back won’t break, my ankles were first
hoping that i’ll make it but it’s been the reverse

lacking inspiration
i can’t take a break, need more creations
going through some changes, maybe mutations
things that you’re not fixing with some conversations

[song 2: hide]
it’s nothing new when i tell you that i’ve been stuck in my mind
where am i?
i couldn’t turn away the pain when i got stuck on a rhyme
i can’t hide

and the bills are stacking as of late but everything is still fine
at least i won’t die
who’s gonna be there till the end when everything is alright
something i can’t find
and there’s been countless times i’ve been cast aside and replaced
i never noticed how my brain took those and tapped erase
and i can’t see my growth i think i’m stuck inside my ways
feels like i’m never good enough but that won’t ever change

i guess the truth was right in front of me
then it came packaged in my fate
and my whole life i tried to run away
and my whole life i tried to run away
and my whole life i tried to run away

it’s nothing new when i tell you that i’ve been stuck in my mind
where am i
i couldn’t turn away the pain when i got stuck on a rhyme
i can’t hide

and the bills are stacking as of late but everything is still fine
at least i won’t die
who’s gonna be there till the end when everything is alright
something i can’t find

[song 3: keep a secret]
not really sure if i need you, i’m still looking around for a substance
every time that i see you, you’re walking around like he doesn’t
i try so hard not to act like i’m above it
please don’t call me you’re soulmate, ’cause in the end, he wasn’t
can you keep a secret?
they won’t ever have to know it if you don’t repeat it
i’m not the one to show you everything that you’ve been dreamin’
i’m not present, but i’m sick of staring at the ceiling

keep your feelings
i’ve been feeling lonely
and every time, i ask myself, “but does she even know me”
i could try and write a song, but it can’t ever hold me
and if you could take it back, you’d still say what you told me

as if there’s something to feel

[song 4: duet]
speaking with you feels like screaming at a wall
and you can barely get through there to me at all
you can break me down again, but i’m no better
always over it, so i guess i’ll just bear the weather
it’s good to fill the silence if you know that’s what you need

almost left the game, you put the quarter back in
another moment to you, i’m giving right back in
i never ask you for a thing, need no inquiry
so, why can’t you ever erase me from your diary?
you’ll never get another pleasure ‘long as i breathe
and i can’t handle all the pressure, buckle my knees

you’re sick, you won’t stop dreaming about me
you don’t mean it, saying you won’t breathe without me
dragging you along, b+tch, stop taking my lead
i’m keeping all our secrets safe ’til i’m long deceased
close the backdoor, you will not escape me
every piece of me is fragile, snap me like a leaf
but i won’t need you at the moment, you’re done fixing me
and i still miss you, it’s not like i don’t want you back
leave you begging for some more, you can have your fun with that
it still doesn’t make a difference if you ever miss me back
maybe leave you for the winter, let’s see how you cope with that
another itch, another cut, another stitch
not surprising in the slightest how you won’t give me an inch
i’m just sick of trying to convince you we could ever hitch
and if you light the gas then you know i’ll go burn the bridge
d+mn, this life is such a—

[song 5: white swan]
i just wanna be perfect (whoa)
burn myself, it’s not hurtin’ (yeah)
why don’t you tell me i’m worth it? (yeah)
what’d i do to deserve it?
it’s all in my head, it’s all in my head again, there’s nothing to make a sound
it’s all in my head, it’s all in my head again, can’t figure myself out
i see your face everywhere and i cannot unsee it (it f+cking haunts me)
i turn the corner, you’re over there, whole body’s freezing (with someone not me)
i know my friends only want what is best for me (but i stayed at your apartment)
and you’re not my enemy, i guess we’re two different energies (we should stay off it)
i miss the old me, but i guess he’s dead to me (well, i guess he called it)
i am not saying i need it but that’s just how i see it

i’m f+ckin’ sick of just being so angry (i don’t know what to say)
i hate to say it, no one understands me (i know it sounds cliché)
i’m f+ckin’ sick of just being so hungry
it makes me sick to record this
i cannot eat and this sh+t is unhealthy
i hoped you wouldn’t notice

i just wanna be perfect (whoa)
burn myself, it’s not hurtin’ (yeah)
why don’t you tell me i’m worth it? (yeah)
what’d i do to deserve it?
it’s all in my head, it’s all in my head again, there’s nothing to make a sound
it’s all in my head, it’s all in my head again, can’t figure myself out
i see your face everywhere and i cannot unsee it (it f+cking haunts me)
i turn the corner, you’re over there, whole body’s freezing (with someone not me)
i know my friends only want what is best for me (but i stayed at your apartment)
and you’re not my enemy, i guess we’re two different energies (we should stay off it)
i miss the old me, but i guess he’s dead to me (well, i guess he called it)
i am not saying i need it but that’s just how i see it

[song 6: organs]
and i can’t do this by the book
they tried to bring me down but i just left them shook
i’ve gotten my respect, but i’m still overlooked

how can i catch a fall from grace?
i know i can’t predict the change
why could i channel only hate?
what will i gain from my mistake?

like everybody else i’m only tryna make the rent
and i can’t even imagine all of the money that i spent
all the moments i’m spending stuck in one place like i’m cement

when my confidence had bested me
i’m what you want but you’re not what i need
put any other organ on my sleeve

how can i catch a fall from grace?
i know i can’t predict the change
why could i channel only hate?
what will i gain from my mistake?

and i can’t do this by the book
they tried to bring me down but i just left them shook
i’ve gotten my respect, but i’m still overlooked

[song 7: mercy]
i found a strand of your hair right in my pillowcase
i can’t describe the feeling how my heart aches
there’s so many things that i wish i could say
i guess i only wonder if you’re playing it safe
everything was meant only to be, just not as long as it seemed

but i could never cheat on you, or even anyone
unless they did it to me first because i might be that petty
my insecurities, there might be too many
i wanted nothing more than us going steady

it’s such a shame how the times have changed
i renounce it all and let the feeling remain
another day, dead and gone to waste

i tried to go back and find it, that’s when i knew i was wrong
ran out of words to describe it, that’s when i ruined the song

all the water in the ocean couldn’t wash that stain
wish i was feeling something other than pain
and i’ve been going through the motions with no chance to complain
worried i’m working without something to gain

aching from the weight of my grief, show me mercy

show me mercy

but i could never cheat on you, or even anyone
unless they did it to me first because i might be that petty
my insecurities, there might be too many
i wanted nothing more than

i spent my days trying to be multifaceted
in some years i’d try to tally up the damages
i can’t hope you’d take me back, i guess i’m past it
and like the other song goes, “i like to do magic”

fear is only a feeling that only feelings can change
i still try to maintain, but despite everything strange
our different phases of life, i’ll never blame
i light the spliff and hope the emotions fade

i tried to go back and find it, that’s when i knew i was wrong
ran out of words to describe it, that’s when i ruined the song
all the water in the ocean couldn’t wash that stain
wish i was feeling something other than pain
i’ve been going through the motions with no chance to complain
worried i’m working without something to gain

how can ever keep myself from harm?
running away to scream inside my car

[song 8: doubt]
replaying our discussions, i toss and turn about
and i can’t make any deductions without some burning doubt
and i can’t make any assumptions of how it’s turning out
i can’t worry now

i just gotta keep it moving cause there’s no burning out
i just gotta keep improving like the world keeps turning round
and my friend turned his back me when he thought he was earning clout
he wanted me to stay in second place, but i think i learned his route
that’s not what i’m concerned about

there’s no room for stupid gimmicks i’m never copping out
gotta get this money moving cause there’s no stopping now

replaying our discussions, i toss and turn about
and i can’t make any deductions without some burning doubt
and i can’t make any assumptions of how it’s turning out
i can’t worry now

[song 9: empty]
i waited to see if you would text me first
you never did, but i expected that
you could still have me back
was it cause of me, what was it that i lack?
i could still treat you better
and i’d stick with the plan

and i denied myself of everything fun
hide in my bunker till the first of the month
why build it up if i’ll just leave it and run?

’cause too much energy is required
i’m so empty and tired
there’s nothing i desire
with every feeling expired

the first mistake was made when you went straight through my phone
i had every intention of leaving my ex alone
i couldn’t defend myself that’s when you sent me home
i guess mistakes are just another way to grow
it hurts to say you shut me down when i get passionate

[outro]
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