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polyana (usa) - waves lyrics

[verse 1: polyana]
thought that i was out of h+ll but then i needed help
woke up from reality and felt i’m dreaming still
dipped in water in the hotel room lights dimmed
so serene but in head i felt like everything’s caved in
no love, ended relationship
and then she kept talking even though that i ain’t want it
maybe i’m an idiot, because outside of sammy she’s the only one who even pays attention to me
i lovе the f+ck out my closest but sometimеs i’m made the issue
when family visits i’m always told may god bless you
cause i haven’t ever prayed to god once since 7
when i moved to new jersey i learned that i’d be dead
i’m not who i’m s’posed to be and was created
i never ever thought that such religion could bring hatred
but i guess that’s why i’ve been condemned for everything i’ve done
i don’t feel in my body and i’m detached from everyone
drowned in waves

[chorus: polyana]
stuck inside my wavelength
i’m stuck out of body
i don’t know if i’ll come back
stuck outside the present
reflecting on what’s behind me
i wish i couldn’t come back
but i’m forced to stay right
[post+chorus: polyana]
but i’m forced to stay right
but i’m forced to stay right
but i’m forced to stay right
but i’m forced to stay right

[verse 2: jozie haze]
(yo, one, two, one, two, yeah, aye)
take em to the m+th+f+ckin’ second verse
somethin’ wasn’t right when i woke up, thought i was dead at first
thought i went to heaven, thought i went to h+ll, then my eyes focused
recognize i’m still alive and sigh, i’m hopeless
it should bad sign if you start to think
instead of livin’ in your head you’d rather see some darker things
past wrapped me tight like book binding, leather
wishin’ i could live in the good times forever
and hold on to the moment like the monster that’s inside
squeezing tighter than the thoughts i wanna pacify
it should never be normal to wish you’d die this much
but its all too commonplace when you learn life is f+cked
so as i stumble out of bed, i think of past lives
trying to distract from the fact it could be the last time
that i ever see the mirror, could this sh+t be any clearer
i don’t wanna lead a cheer, let’s leave at halftime

[bridge: polyana]
so as i stumble out of bed, i think of past lives
trying to distract from the fact it could be the last time
that i ever see the mirror, could this sh+t be any clearer
i dont wanna lead a cheer, let’s leave at halftime

[verse 3: polyana]
is something the matter, just the fact i have two br++sts and a d+ck?
you are my family, shouldn’t matter, you big incestual b+tch
maybe it shows that all it took was just some pushing for this
maybe it shows that no one here has laid a finger to help
for 17 years mom’s struggling, burdened, stuck down in h+ll
and all she’s ever gotten was a “girl, you did this yourself”
maybe she did, i wouldn’t know that, but it carries to gail
or is it abby, or galbraithe ’cause no one calls me by name
i made it easy, so stop pulling your big “poor me” game
compared to all the sh+t i gotta say, this stuff is tame
not overreacting either, more is under the surface
like how i’m always told i’m like my mom, the negative version
you act like god isn’t watching when you do what you do
you claim you’re peers don’t need forgiveness when it’s worse for you
all, listen closely, this one goes out to my family
don’t claim you’re christian when you pick and choose what you believe
[outro: polyana]
(uh, okay, woof. had to get that off. it’s been, it’s been getting [?]. huff, alright, what’s next? alright, yeah.)

- polyana usa lyrics

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