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poolboy - blush. lyrics

i read the comments
and i read the hate
but it hurts deep down when i think i’m great
but they still hate me
berate me
with bullets and words
but lately
it makes me

wanna get real loud
make my people so proud
makes me wanna stand and rap in front of brand new crowds
you can feel my heart pound
and i hear the music sound
and it makes me wanna keep on pushing till i’m in the ground

but i’m quiet
because the state created by the hate
makes the music i create fully uninspiring
showing off a different side of me
become the man i want to be
i’m doing what i love you see

but i’m in a prison
if you can talk then you can listen
you’ll hear
the snakes hissen
that part of me is hidden
but instead the world that i’m livin in keeps on spinnin
and there’s no sounds
i just remember all of my sinnin

and i’m sorry
as i’m on the stage
my problems they fade away
and i bask in all the praise and get torn down by the silence

waiting for the applause
i hear a brief pause
and i hope the change i’ve caused
is worthy of something more than silence

it’s nothin new to me
this scrutiny
but what i gotta prove to me
is where my future gonna be

i surround myself with dreamers
people that believe
not concede
but reconvene to see if i’m okay

and maybe i’m okay
but maybe i’m not fine
the problems on my mind
are on constant rewind
but i’m okay

making moves till my last day
and try not to get played like a chess game
check mate

i know that i am small and people sayin that i’m little
i know that my whole life i have been caught up in the middle
of something and reality
something that ain’t a part of me
something set apart from me
that something set a start in me
i know the man i want to be
ignore the ones who laugh at me
so please do not be sad for me
i’m gonna live happily
i changed my life drastically
i got my friends and family
and honestly that’s all i need

hit it
get it
quit it
forget it
for just a minute
to think about all my sin and believe that i won’t give in

to the material ways
that our world portrays
keeping us in a daze
with all this fake on display

man i been stressed out thinking i’m not good enough
for my friends or anybody
i think i might giving up

but i remember that i’m my own man
my own me
i’m doin my own thing
and n-body stopping me

approval is the last thing i should be searching for
i’m just a young kid who’s foot is barely out the door
i won’t talk about life because i ain’t lived before
but i’m excited to see what my life has in store

see i’m no longer quiet
i broke free of my chains
i need a quarantine because i’m uncontained
ain’t n-body tellin me that i need to change
and some day every body gonna know my name

- poolboy lyrics

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