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pootie - the age of arrogance lyrics

i. the fifth of july (stygian skies)
ii. i hate hard workers
iii. the three brothers
iv. racism reminds & remains
v. spooky (hannah is a werewolf)
vi. the gize bar in the south of nowhere woods
vii. the ballad of dramus
viii. the road to dramus
ix. the wrath of dramus
x. i hate the boat (the final chapter)

it’s the fifth of july in the age of arrogance
fulmination fills the stygian sky
six prisoners remain chained in a shed
targeted in the middle of nowhere woods
while not conscience, they all wear green
with letter patches on their backs
reading “bate me”
after brief altercations through expressing opinions
they were captured and brought to the gize shed
the prisoners in question were already invisible
no soul seemed to care about their sudden disappearence
why would they care if they stood against fads?
militant social groups applauded infiltration
they exaggerated pity for minorities
but no invisible group was safe from subjugation
in their eyes, they didn’t even exist
in an effort to prevent the slim chance of influence
they monitor and choose to rid of the invisible
and that’s what brings us here today
six prisoners, unconscience, in the shed at dark
awoken by the sounds of a nearby swamp

their eyes rise from their lids
as they struggle to escape the chains of entrapment
in a state of dubiety, they begin to question each other
confrontation ensues, but only out of frustration
the six prisoners soon realize that they’ve been held captive
all because they exercised their apparent right to free speech
social groups didn’t approve of their stances
for they only approve of popular opinions
as the thunder rolled, a prisoner began to shake
he asked how the others ended up in the shed
silence carries for a few moments
when one prisoner begins to tell his tale
he lowers his brow, and starts to yell

“i hate hard workers
and you know it’s true
i said i hate hard workers
and how about you?

they’re always coming up to me
and trying to start sh+t
but i don’t listen to it
if i’m slacking off
they’re there to put me in my place
but one of these days i’m gonna punch one in the face

just because they work hard
they think they deserve respect
it doesn’t matter what’s on your check
they hate the lazy class
well, they can kiss my ass
stars are lucky that their royalties last
i’m sorry that society teaches you to want things you don’t need
and working your life away
and earning money became your dream
that’s not my dream
so holmes, get off my screen
you’re no better
because you follow a routine”

the prisoners discuss their companion’s opinions
and think about how society looks down upon the unemployed
they also think about how making money isn’t their dream
they want more for themselves than that
at that moment, all six prisoners made a promise
that they’d never let money control them
soon, another prisoner clears his throat
and begins to let his story flow

“my name is mc kenna and i got a story to tell
all my life i’ve been waiting and antic+p+ting to burn in h+ll
well, i’m trapped for the hate inside my head
i got voices for many moods
just like the vindictives”

at the start of his story
mc kenna gets interrupted by his two twin brothers
who just so happen to also be trapped in the shed

they say
“wait, hold on bro
we want in on this too!
after all, we’re brothers
and we have the same story as you!”

mc kenna thinks hard
but ultimately lets his brothers take part

“alright, colby and jay
let’s say why we’re in here in an old school way
jump in when you got something to say!”

“i might seem cool like paul o’neil
because i’m always just kickin’ it
but little did you know that i cried on flight of the hippogriff
all the deranged and insane who think i’m lame
are teens who think they’re cool
drinking mike’s hard lemonade
i barely graduated to do jack sh+t
at least it’s better than graduating to work at publix
i was never as witty as jeff kinney
i was never as pretty as isabelle adjani
i just stayed in my room like r.l. stine
but for my words i’ve never made a dime
there’s so many types that make me sick
like the cole spouse loving social clique
the kind of people that fall for his phony shtick
b+n+lity, fatally dumb, hipster scum
oblivious to a quarter of everyone
nowadays people like that rule the nation
being politically correct is the new sensation
they’re releasing a psa
on how mothers should raise their sons
but at the end of the day, who gives a f+ck?
not everything is s+xist and racist
or needs a cheesy message in all the wrong places
colin kaepernick is cringy and lame
if he really thought his protests were gonna cause change
“conservatives” were whining about him disrespecting the flag
and “liberals” are whining about eminem saying f+g
everybody’s complaining about something
and i’m just sitting back laughing
they started a protest for this guy i know
they call him the “first offender”
he’ll knock your ass out regardless of your gender
but who are they to play the peaceful paladin?
they’re the kind of person who would fight me
if i said that bruno mars wasn’t talented!
so excuse us if we’re rambling nonsense and being rude
but we’ll practice some of our insults on you
we’re immature motherf+ckers
got a problem, little sh+ts?
throw a fit like you always do
when you don’t agree with someone’s views

i’m a stable g+nius living in a staples
i built my own stable behind the table
you go to school, not by choice, but by birth
they assign you tasks to determine your worth
i saw the edge of seventeen back when i was seventeen
in the theater with my mom
because i had no friends
but how am i supposed to make friends
when i don’t smoke or drink booze
i’m the same height as tom cruise
i never went to catholic school
and all i seem to do is lose
i’m just a b+tton masher
a college rave crasher
a mario kart double dasher
a hash slinging slasher
you say americans or pakistanis are f+cked up
and it’s kinda funny
how you can generalize everybody living in one country
you’re the kind of person who thinks all southerners are racist
spewing your close+minded bullsh+t to the whole nation
i don’t hate the police
that would make me predictable
i’m mc kenna and i’m an individual
these people nowadays be hating with rage
but i’ve always hated with a smile on my face
like why do people got a problem when a dog sh+ts on their lawn?
f+ck you
dont come up to me with that attitude
’cause i’ll pick up the p++p and i’ll throw it in your face
i don’t care about your dumb+ass lawn
f+ck you if you think i’m wrong
’cause i’ll be laughing my ass off
when you’re stepping in sh+t
and when your grass dies out
you’ll know the booski did it
and who cares if that dummy logan paul filmed a dead body?
give me a break you would have filmed it, too
it’s a thumbnail, it’s views
everyone made response videos crying
save your tears, hypocrite
you’re full of sh+t, lying
you say you got mental illness
you ain’t got sh+t
just a tumblr and a bad attitude
depression is a joke
so is life
so if you can’t laugh at yourself
you must not be living right
sh+tty indie bands talking about how they’re so depressed
do drugs and smoke pounds of grass
man, f+ck them, i don’t want to hear their ass
i want to hear that southern charm
like my name was austin kroll
i don’t work, i don’t pick up checks
and the girlies don’t even look at me
they just say next
because i don’t have a job and i’m proud of it
my mother says my laziness is going to cost me a wonderful career
i don’t shower, i don’t work, i’ve had no ambitions for years
i have the same birthday as eva amurri
when it comes to getting a job
i’m in no hurry
they all say
“that mc kenna! he doesn’t have a job!
he doesnt do drugs or alchohol
but he’s kind of a lazy slob!”
but what can i say? i’m not an adult
i don’t drink coffee, own a debit card, or smoke
i refuse to pay taxes
get your own d+mn money
would joe giudice find me funny?
i’m just a cold cut virgin, unemployed, sega slacker
everyday i do surveys and i eat ritz crackers
while you’re a fingerbreakin’, wine+tasting, hustling, hugger
who got a job at 14 to help at your mother
you got your kid going to private school
in hopes that he’ll grow up to be just another fool
he’ll soon be living the life of a star
driving 4 girls to the prom in his souped+up car
while i’ve never been kissed
i’ve never been missed
i missed out on young love and i’m kind of p+ssed
why is it that i’ve always had my virginity
but never had confidence?
while you rats only want to f+ck
i got no game like the 76′ bucs
you’re just a p+rnstar stoner claiming to be a loner
but you got 7 friends surrounding your mercedes benz
you’re the kind of guy who’s proud of his credit score
and you’re the kind of guy who’s proud to be from new york
“what part are you from?” he says with a smile
“let’s discuss streets and bore them for awhile!”
you say you’re cold blooded ’cause you’re from new york
but little do you know you’re just a new york dork
i’m saying f+ck new york like slapshot and blatz
i hope your city gets attacked again on the morning of christmas
just playing, if you know what i’m saying
but if you’re easily offended you probably already stopped listening
i’m glistening like a glazed donut
“what did you just say?”
i don’t know, but you know what?
i think it’s funny how your whole life can end
by saying something that people consider to be offensive
i don’t want to live in a world
where your life is ruined if you voice an opinion
can’t we just respect each other and try to understand
that teaching and communicating can bind our hands
maybe we do voice our opinions a little too much
this is going to be longer than la belle noiseuse/the best of youth
how the h+ll do we end this?
our story really wasn’t much of a story
it didn’t make much sense
but we got a knack for hating things like jade west
just know that our minds are screwed like lyricold
and we’re trapped in this shed for the things that we’ve said”

as soon as the brothers are done with their dissings, another prisoner steps forward to lay down some opinions of his own that caused him to get locked up, as well

“hey, while ya’ll are coming in hot
let me jump in
i’ve got something to say
i just need a mind reading ghost to back me up”

“i’m here!”

“thanks”

“i’ll never pick a side till the day i die
because liberals are irksome and sensitive
and conservatives are just plain ol’ stupid
you throw stabs the other way
and still wonder why hatred is routed
if the goal is togetherness
then stop acting like you’re better than the rest
it doesn’t matter what your race is, nor your gender
cultures are important, but we must remember
that we’re all human beings living in thesis
your extremity of one+way equality will rip us to pieces
discrimination still exists in the world today
we got a long way to go, but i hope i see the day
where we can respect cultures and try to understand
instead of focusing our attention on bashing the oppressing
you disrespect to gain respect
it goes both ways
is it really my place to discuss gender, class, or race?
no, but we’re here together
and we should willingly discuss our opinions civilly
i’m through with the violence
don’t let yourself be silenced
it’s in our nature to hate
but i’m hoping you won’t hate
based on someone’s gender, class, or race
because you say you hate whites
and you say you hate blacks
i say you’re all really stupid, it’s not about that
each and every person is their own individual
if you judge a human by their race
it makes the opposing side more hostile
you can write articles saying i’m wrong
but that’s probably the reason why racism has been around so long
you can’t change the world with that attitude
we only got one shot at this
so let’s learn from our ancestors mistakes
so we can make this world a better place”

the prisoners smile for the first time after hearing their companion’s opinions on a controversial subject. they respect his opinion and listen to him. eventually, they begin joking with each other and warming up to one another. but then they notice that one prisoner hasn’t said a word. they ask him what his story is, but he remains silent. he doesn’t look too good. he then starts to twitch and say:

“i’ve got graveyards on my mind
they’ve got a timed pendulum effaced to the back of them
you’re friends with the merchant who lives by the pope
they’re making a fortune selling my dreams and hopes
the werewolves can smell me and my time is running out
i got to get away, i got to make a change
ingratiating isn’t my plan, i’d rather die than be fed
vathek was my priniciple, but now my dream is dead

and they say on the thirteenth of october
that i’ll have to join them

i’ve seen some cheat away enchantresses in their day
but i’d take the love of a prancer, or even a necromancer
i’m used to being in the coppice alone
picked apart to broken fragments and bones
my agoraphobia is calling me again
restricting my potential to ghosts and goblins
the ghouls keep whispering that the cia will l!ck my asscheeks
coffened vacilliation on a plagued street
proves that they’ll soon k!ll the meek

if hannah is a werewolf, why did dreams ruin stine?
i’ve never experienced conviviality of that kind
this curse will cause change, transmogrifying decay
a long for a cottage in nature, somewhere far away
open fields display the earth of yesterday
if this is all that’s left here, then i got to get away!”

out of nowhere, the paranoid, nonsensical prisoner starts banging his head against the cheap wood of the shed! he truly is desperate to get away! like an octopus on crack, he wiggles out of his chains of entrapment. the prisoners imitate his movements of escape, and they start to wonder if whoever trapped them wanted them to escape in the first place. the chains weren’t very secure at all. a hole is soon made in the shed, and the prisoners are free at last. they decide to head south through the dark swamps. after hours of gruesome walking in the night, they eventually see neon pink lights. it’s, of course, the gize bar in the south of nowhere woods. the prisoners then decide to stop in to see if they can get any answers to what’s truly going down

“welcome to gize bar! what brings ya’ll in here?”

“uh…i don’t even know where to start! we were all locked in a shed, unconscious, wearing these weird outfits! where are we? what does this all mean? how did we even get trapped in there? what is going on?!”

“oh, you guys were locked in the shed and you got out?
that’s very impressive. i’ve never seen those outfits. dramus used to have guards who patrol the shed at night.”

“wait, wait, wait, who’s dramus? is that the guy who locked us up?”

“yes, yes, of course!
you’re telling me you don’t know about dramus?
he’s only been the most powerful leader of the current age
he’s got an army of people working for him, helping him find all the people who need to be locked up for being “part of the problem”. a lot of us ’round here don’t agree with his ways, but if we say anything, he’d k!ll us.”

“oh, wow. do you happen to know more about this dramus guy? do you know where he lives?”

“oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. i know all about him. here, i’ll tell you everything i know

he sold his guitar for a gram of weed
he cheats on all the girls in the scene
he drives around town living the dream
he’s dramus

he lies and tries to keep all of their hearts
he’s blamed it on the prisoners since the start
he used to live at the smoke shop by the k+mart
he’s dramus

he’s dating all of the emo girls who live out of state
he charms them with his words and then they date
he finds his next target and it’s too late
he’s dramus

he got road head with a baby in the backseat
he took off his pants and the mom was a freak
all while he was driving on the wrong side of the street
he’s dramus

he came in his friends blanket after going to a rave
he’s been complaining about cultural appropriation for days
he locks up people who don’t believe in his ways
he’s dramus

he started out with tumblr quotes
he got a big following, so the story goes
a bunch of dumb f+cks agreed with his victimized woes
he’s dramus

he now lives at the bottom of fersata
to get there, keep going north until you see lava
he’s got a whole army who is just like him
so watch out!”

the prisoners decide to follow the bartender’s advice and head north to confront dramus and hopefully put a stop to his evil ways. as they walk through the forest of the night they start to discuss what will happen if they don’t come out victorious. they soon realize that dramus might lock them up for good, or even k!ll them. they decided that what they were about to do would be worth it. it’s better to die with a fight than to die with no might. soon, they start to see bright red lava and a long bridge leading to a large platform awaits them. they slowly walk across it and at the end of it is dramus and his followers

dramus starts to speak to them

“ah, it seems like you prisoner fools
have finally found your way to me
i expected that much. what bravery to face me
you know, i don’t tolerate escape artists
i also don’t tolerate those with opinions like your own
i suppose it’s time to put an end to this once and for all
do you know what we do to people like you?
jimbo! get the boat ready for our guests!
yes…that’s right
see the vast sea of never+ending lava behind me?
well, let’s just say you’re going to go for a little boat ride…
except, unlike super mario sunshine and corona mountain
there is no final destination platform for you to land on
muahahaha…muahahahaha”

dramus’ army starts closing in on the prisoners. the prisoners gulp as they realize the inevitable. they’re going to be forced onto that boat and die. they look at one another and they all cry. and all of them are at a loss for words

dramus looks at them with a s+d+stic smile. he then instructs his army to start bringing the prisoners to the boat. he then says

“it was nice knowing you hateful bigots
maybe this will teach you in the next life!
have a nice sail!

oh wait…i almost forgot… any thing you want to say? perhaps you’ve changed your opinions and views? any last words?”

silence carries throughout, when one prisoner begins to sing the unthinkable

“i hate the boat
i hate the boat
tell everybody that i hate the boat
no dollar sign, no pizza grind
and i hate the boat

so what does this mean?
it’s simple to see
that the problem is both you and me
let’s learn to respect each other
and try to understand
so we can live in peace

dramus, it’s true
it’s not too late for you
don’t we got better things to do?
so what do you say?
do you agree?
that it’s the right thing to do?”

“i now see and agree
it’s suddenly all so clear to me
that choosing sides and ruining lives
isn’t the way to be
thank you for helping me see
let’s set everyone free and live in harmony!”

and just like that, our story comes to an end. the six prisoners get freed and dramus holds onto his beliefs, but he respects other’s opinions and doesn’t get angry with them for having them. instead of all the talking the prisoners and him were doing, they decide to put all that energy into something positive by helping people in need get to where they need to be. they decide to stop taking themselves so seriously. finally, everyone is free and the world is at peace. they learned from their ancestors mistakes, and they made the world a better place

- pootie lyrics

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